Every year everyone makes some New Year’s resolutions and no one ever keeps them, right? Well, I’ve come up with the perfect New Year’s resolution, one that even I can keep.

Are you ready?

I resolve to stay alive yet another year.

Brilliant right? No way I’ll break that resolution like the one where I exercise or stop eating sweet, delicious chocolate.

Oh wait a minute.

No one EVER keeps their New Year’s resolutions.

Fuck me. I totally jinxed myself. FUCK!