C'est Non Un Blog

Today at work we checked out footage from E3, starting with the new XBox 360. I’d already read the article in time about it and was excited to see game video. Oh man did it look cool. Especially Dead or Alive 4. I almost crapped my pants it looked so cool. I need to play that game right now. Never have I wanted an XBox more.

Of course then we went and looked at footage from Playstation 3. Check out the video on Killzone 2 and tell me you don’t want a Playstation. Come on, I dare you.

Now I don’t know what to do. Which one do I get? I’m freaking out. Never mind the fact that I barely, if ever, play my Playstation 2. I NEED one of these systems. Sooo bad.

So big surprise here, the new Star Wars sucks. I held out hope that now that George actually had a chapter with some story he would have been able to actually pull some genius out of his ass, but no hope here. I mean, if you watch the trilogy in order now Episode IV: A New Hope takes on new meaning. The special effects are amazing and leaps and bounds above the quality of the first two films. The writing is the same though. Maybe even worse. A sample from this Shakespearean dialogue:

Obi Wan: “The Sith are evil!”

Anakin: “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!”

Wha?? What the hell was that? And for someone who praises the virtues of editing in order to make his films, Lucas fucked up big time here. The editing and pacing are horrible. Just awful. Add that with the usual horrible acting and the trilogy of the raping of my childhood is finally complete.

I’m very slowly going insane. for a week and a half now my ears have me ringing. i have some sort of virus/sinus/infection ear thingamagigy. the ringing gets better, it gets worse. right now it is a high pitch squeal. only star wars can save me at this point. or i could stop being a fraidy cat and go to the doctor. ugh.

you are an indie asshole. some of your music is
good but for the most part, its awful. you
think you are better than everyone. someone
could shit on a guitar and you would call it
art. get a life you prick.

what kind of asshole scene kid are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yep, finally, I am the Lead Demonstration Specialist. Let’s see if I can not fuck this up.

New NIN album out…

…makes it hard to type…

…more later.

Here is another really good bypass story for ya’ll. (Just so you all know, I’ve started using phrases like “ya’ll” and “I tell ya what”. Just so you know.) On a particularly windy day I passed a SUV coming in on the merging lane and looked back in my rearview mirror to make sure I was far enough ahead of him before the two lanes became one. As I looked into my mirror, I swear to God, I saw the hood of his car fly straight up. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know if I should pull over or laugh my ass off. Luckily he safely slowed down and turned off of the road, so the decision was made for me.

The other night I was driving home from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and I was going down the Bennington bypass at about 11:30 at night when I saw the rear half of a deer in the middle of the road. The other half had become fist-sized chunks of meat and sprayed blood over the course of 50 yards of highway. The sight was both disgusting and disturbing. Puts all of life into perspective for you. One minute you are enjoying life, frolicking in a field, the next minute your better half has, for lack of a better word, been vaporized by a Mack truck going 65 miles per hour. Makes you think.

Speaking of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, man it was like Revenge of the Nerds in the theater, and the biggest nerds seemed to be sitting right behind me, speaking loudly about DOS emulators, Mega Man games, LotRs LARPs and whatnot. I’ve never heard a grown man quite so excited to see if his friends have read the latest Foxtrot.

Of course I was there in the theater with them, alone, so what does that say about me?

Real life God damn zombies in south east Asian. Found this on the BBC website:

http://65.127.124.62/south_asia/4483241.stm.htm

Cambodian Troops Quarantine Quan’sul

There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.

The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.

General Ary Serey had this to say, “We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all.”

US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.

A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.

Today was a tragic day, marking the ousting of Steph on Survivor. Man was I pissed. Add Bush and no O.C. into the occasion and you could say I’ve been a little homicidal this evening.