C'est Non Un Blog

I have jury duty next week. This could not come at a worse time. So many reasons why this is bad. First of all we are just too short staffed for one person to leave for an undetermined time. I don’t want to leave. I want to do my job. Then there is the fact that this is a holiday week. July 4th. Families out shopping with their kids, freshly out of school. Add on top of that the fact that next weekend we have a major event going on for our new show. We only do two or three big events a year. Yeah, this next one just happens to be now. If that weren’t bad enough, the district manager is going to be at our store for the whole event. Probably will Swing us too. Dammit!

On the plus side the holiday may work in my favor. No government building will be open on a holiday. And the fact that most people will be traveling might cause them to tell me that I’m left off the hook. And don’t think I won’t use the fact that we are understaffed to try and get out of it. Those bastards will know that they don’t want me on their jury.

Just ‘cause that all wasn’t bad enough, I need a haircut and an oil change for my car. I have no idea when to schedule those. I need them ASAP though. Grrr.

Yesterday I went over to a friend from work’s house to see another friend from work that I haven’t seen since he quit there. We started out with a little strawberry margarita, but it was not long after those had been made that the reefer madness started.

I knew I was in trouble right from the start. I took a monster hit, but then as I began to exhale only a pathetic little white cloud came out of my mouth. “What the fuck,” I said to myself. “What the hell did I do wrong this time?”

As I was talking to myself my breathing normaled, only for me to see a giant cloud slowly emanate from my insides. Oh crap. Then the required coughing started. I was done at this smoking. I still took my turn in the circle though.

About maybe five, ten minutes later the weirdness started. To tell you the truth, I’ve never been more scared after taking any drug like I was then. A white light started to fill my eyes, like a kaleidoscope of a thousand exploding stars. The pressure of my sinus glands pushing against my eardrums got much worse and I started to freak out a little bit. It literally knocked me on my ass. I had to sit down and regain my balance or I was going to FALL down. That lasted a good half hour.

Then the most pleasant sensation befell me. At this point I fully knew why this is my drug of choice. It opens up parts of my brain that I forgot I had. Remember that feeling you had as a kid that everything was special, that everything held magic inside of it? That’s the state I return to. I get so much flashback now it’s ridiculous. I’ve recaptured entire segments of my childhood thought long lost to me. It’s the oddest feeling, being completely at peace.

My friend’s house is right in the middle of the forest. Having the trees rustling in the wind overhead just reminded me how much I love trees. They are, I think, God’s greatest invention. To see something so tall and so old and so amazingly intricate and unique…it just humbles you. Who the fuck am I? Why do I deserve shit? What’s this war thing all about?

I have this deep emotional bond to the mountains and the forests. I can’t escape it. When I’m away from it I’m not happy. It’s nice to feel this karmic connection to something.

Later I taught everyone how to play croquet on most possibly the most difficult course ever. I was the only one that knew how to play, I was the one that designed the course. I, of course, came in last. We ate pizza, made smoores over a fire. I loved that fire. I was practically in the fire. It was kind of funny. Here I am in shorts and a t-shirt, it’s getting cold and windy, and I’m sitting with my feet basically on the firepit.

Just amazing, that state of mind. The only way to get it back in a normal state is through trance music. Luckily I got Sasha’s new album today. One word: wow.

Haven’t posted much lately. Can’t promise much for the future. We’ll see.

You scored as Darth Vader. Darth Vader 72% Yoda 69% Chewbacca 67% Anakin Skywalker 56% C-3PO 56% Obi Wan Kenobi 56% General Grievous 53% Mace Windu 53% R2-D2 50% Clone Trooper 47% Emperor Palpatine 36% Padme Amidala 25% Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

I totally did NOT think I was going to get Vader. Who knew I was such an evil motherfucking badass? (Don’t answer that.) Of course a very close second was Yoda. Which just goes to show you how thin a line there is between the Light and Dark side. There is still hope for me. My son can help me show the Emperor what a bitch he is.

Of course #3 was Chewbacca. I don’t even know what THAT means.

So my giant monstrosity of a TV came in last night. A Samsung 46” DLP HDTV. I spent pretty much all of today hooking it up, finishing right around 4PM. There was lots to do before I could just plug that bad boy in.

First of all, I had to take everything in the entertainment center apart, dust it and set it aside. Since the TV wouldn’t actually fit in our “entertainment center” (if you haven’t seen that thing you might be a little confused as to the quotation marks) I had to take everything off of it and move the entertainment center over to make room for the new table I bought for the TV. Then I had to plug it all back in again, running a good two miles of wire in the process. Jeesh.

It’s worth it though. My setup looks sweet. Both the new TV and the old one are hooked up now, so you can actually watch two TV stations at the same time if you want to, or play two different video game systems at the same time. Definitely very cool.

…now that Paris Hilton is engaged.  What is even more scary is that they are both named Paris.  Eww…

This really is one of the most beautiful times of the year. Although this morning started out pretty dreary, this afternoon turned out to be a beautiful one. I love driving home as the sun is going down, the air is crisp and clear and free of humidity, and it is finally warm out, but not that sickly sweat of summer. No, it’s nice out damn it, and you love it. Everything is cast in a warm inviting glow, so that even parts of your piece of shit town actually look beautiful, if for just a couple days during the year. You can’t help but feel happy. Even though today felt like it went on and on forever, it was a good day. I was named Employee of the Month and some pretty nice things were said about me. We totally kicked ass in sales this weekend.

The family is gone this weekend so the dogs and I have the place to ourselves. It’s kind of nice to take them out this time of year. It’s so quiet, you can just enjoy where you are and what you are doing. I don’t go outside much, as anyone who knows me knows, so anytime I can go outside and be happy it is a good day. I love walking around at 8:45 and you can still see everything and the grass is soft and the air smells clean and nice. I don’t like to be alone for too long, but it is good to have the place to myself every once and a while. You get to do what you want and not worry what anyone else is doing. The dogs are nice company.

My room is a total disaster area though. I’m a slob and don’t really care about it that much, but even I’m fed up with it right now. Why I’m unable to take the extra 15 minutes to finish cleaning my room I’ll never know. There is just shit everywhere. Mike might be pleased to know that I still haven’t really unpacked my bag from when I went down to see him. It’s just sitting there in the middle of the room annoying me.

I do feel a lot better now, having gone to the doctor and bought super expensive pills for myself. They have this bad aftertaste, like mucus mixed with birthday candles and wax crayons, but my head hasn’t felt this clear in a long time. For the most part the annoying ringing in my ears is gone, and for that I am eternally grateful. My god you do not know how frustrating that was.

I need a haircut, but forgot to schedule an appointment.

The TV is coming soon…

I don’t know if any of you readers watch Alias, but if you do, how cool was the last thirty seconds of the season finale? That’s probably the best cliffhanger EVER.

The final seconds of Lost on the other hand were complete bullshit.

I have to be quick since I’m about to go to bed, but I thought I might share a few things from today.

1) My neck swelled to almost twice it’s normal size. This stupid infection has got to go. Tuesday can’t come soon enough.

2) I bought a giant TV. Samsung 46″ DLP. I probably can’t afford it. But it is going to be so damn bitchin’. I’m planning for its arrival like a normal person would a newborn. I am such a loser.