C'est Non Un Blog

I had the weirdest dream last night.

In it, I was myself, of course, but I wasn’t actually myself. Do you know what I mean? I was someone different and yet myself at the same time. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. What happened was that I was doing the normal dream thing, but then suddenly I noticed that the situation was changing every minute or so, but common themes or symbols kept going from situation to situation. It was at that moment that I realized that they were a series of dreams; not my dreams, but the dreams of the character I was in my dream. After a while I actually woke up from my dreams within a dream to the actual dream.

Now if that doesn’t throw you for a loop, I don’t know what will. I tell you it is a crazy realization when you first discover, not only that you are dreaming, but that you are dreaming IN a dream. It’s like the universe is suddenly placed between two mirrors and infinate possibilities are revealed to you. It’s the ultimate mind-fuck.

Which makes me wonder: How do we know that what is real is real and what is not is dream? Couldn’t the dreams be the real reality, and this world be the dreams that help make sense of the “real” world? If I dream I am a butterfly, am I I, dreaming of the butterfly, or is the butterfly dreaming of me? Too much thought for one day.

My days are getting more and more uneventful, isn’t that fun? I usually spend my days sitting in the corner to think about what I’ve done, and yet I don’t know what that is. Well not really. All is fun and games. Where else can a man write an email for hours on end? Nowhere but here my friends.

I got the new Rolling Stone in the mail today. On the cover in big letters it says “Bush Declairs War on Bongs”, among other things. The article is about how right around the same time as we attacked Iraq, there was a nationwide crackdown on shops that sold bongs and other drug paraphernalia. And if that phrase weren’t funny enough, a couple pages after that article in the magazine there is the cover story on Eminem with a big picture of him (can you guess?) toking up on a bong. I wonder how self conscious Rolling Stone was of that when they put that picture in.

And now, since I am obsessed, more reality TV…

——Big Brother 4: The Ex Factor——

Why they gave the show that crappy extra name, I’ll never know. Anyway, the first show was on tonight, and although it is too soon to tell if the show will be any good, once the Ex’s entered the house the show definately got more interesting. Think about it: these people are put in a house with someone they don’t get along with and probably never wanted to see again, and now they have to live with them, and how they deal with this will determine how long they stay in the house. Some people I can already pick out as problem house guests, and they are sure to get the boot quickly. I’ll probably keep livejournal up to date on how the show goes, so get ready for some really annoying posts! (yea!)

——Last Comic Standing——

I’ve found that most people have never heard of this show, which is a real shame because it is really good. I can’t recommend you watch this enough. It’s pretty much like the best of all reality shows put together–it’s part Big Brother, part Survivor, part American Idol, part the realities of trying to make it as a comic. That, and the fact that they are all real comedians, means that the show is going to be really funny. The show ends with a 8 Mile-like joke battle, where two comedians go head to head to stay in the house and put on a set for a live audience, who decides like the title says, who is the last comic standing. Tonight was really good. Rob unfairly got put on the chopping block, and went against Ralphie, who is a power house comic (who’s talent is almost as great as his massive weight (that and he has a real hottie of a girl friend. Girls must really be into personality)) and Rob went home, even though I thought his set was way better than Ralphie’s. Ralphie did a hilarious, if not stereotypical, set on political correctness (come on, that’s so mid-90’s material) while Rob gave a completely original set on how he was going to change his name to Bobbert, and then not, the mysteries of the semi-colon, and how unfulfilled he was going to strip clubs, and the entire thing he really pulled off. Because of that I was really surprised when Ralphie, who’s set was good but not as polished, beat him by 85% of the vote. What’s really surprising about the show, though, is the vast amounts of backstabbing going on, making it a real treat in terms of reality programming. Check it out.

Well, I finally officially retired my blogger journal. I’m here to stay I guess. I’m still leaving the site up though, in case you missed some posts of the past, or can’t get enough posts right here on livejournal. See the evolution of a blog here: http://cestnonunblog.blogspot.com/

Last night I watched Independence Day on Fox while I waited for the repeat of Boarding House on the WB. Every time something popped up on the screen that wasn’t the movie, or the movie went into a commercial break, my sister would start ragging me out about how we had the video upstairs so why do we have to watch the TV version. I tried to tell her that I wasn’t really watching it, and that there was nothing else good on TV, but she just kept riding my ass about it. Mostly I think because she enjoys annoying the fuck out of me. Most times now whenever I see her she’ll just yell “Shut it!” to me and smile. Eh, sisters, who needs ’em?

——Boarding House: North Shore——

I’m really into this show, and I’m not entirely sure why. Probably has something to do with my friend Josh and I going to see Blue Crush on my birthday last year. Since then I’ve just had a hard-on for surfing. And when there’s not much else but crap on TV most of the time, why not watch a show about surfing, where these people only work a couple hours a day, if that, and then go out and party all night, the only problem being that any wrong move on the job and they are dead at the bottom of the ocean underneath twenty foot tall waves. The most interesting person on the show has to be the Hawaiian legend Sonny, who likes to solve all problems with a open hand punch to the face. Gotta love a guy who can do that, and still win a competition with his knee all fucked up.

“Oh my god. [pause] Does it hurt?”

“It beeps.”

NAME THAT QUOTE!

I’m still waiting for a guess on the previous quote. I’ve got one more quote today, only this one you don’t have to guess because you probably already know. I just found this extremely humorous, don’t ask me why.

“So I was taking a walk to clear my mind at about 9:30 at might and I
see this brown tree with birds flying around it. As I walk closer I
realize thst the tree is in fact NOT brown but green. It is just
that it is covered in birds. As I approach the birds become
frightened of course and start to swarm over my head. It was
beautiful. I then decided to walk in the middle of the road all the
way home.”

Anyway, on with the show.

——The Recruit——

I saw this last night. I don’t want to go to into it but I’ll give it a little mini review. The movie is actually pretty good until the ultra predictable, and yet very unrealistic ending. The acting is pretty good for the most part(except for, again, the end) and the female lead, Bridget Moynahan, is damn hot. Mostly the CIA training stuff is good, the rest of the story, not so much. I gave it a B.

Anyway, I had some questions about the movie though, that I thought I would ask you about.

There is a computer program called Ice-9 or something like that in the second half of the movie that supposedly is a virus that you can implant from any electrical outlet. Aren’t phone lines and electrical outlets different though? How is a virus going to get from the electrical outlets into your computer? That one baffled me.

In the movie, and in every trailer, one of their training tasks is to go into a bar and come out with a girl that wants to sleep with him. Colin Irishman goes in and finds the girl from training that he’s been flirting heavily with drunk and he decides to take her outside and get her a cab home. When he gets to the parking lot though it’s announced that her mission was to distract him from his mission, and that he failed his. But later, under a lie detector, she reveals that she did want to sleep with him. Does that mean he passed the mission then?

I had another question, but then I realized I already knew the answer, so that’s all today folks.

Last night I saw some of my friends and had a Fourth of July barbeque, and proceded to get really, really smashed. I left the party early just because I knew I couldn’t take any more drinking once they guys whent down to the bar. So I came home and pretty much mellowed out in the head, laying around and waiting for the sobering up part to happen. Then my dad wakes me up at 10 to move some wood to the stacks in front of the basement, me still not feeling tip top but moving nonetheless. I had to do all of this because we were to see T3 that afternoon, and thankfully, I sobered up enough to be alert by then. So without further ado:

——Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines——

(Note: Spoilers tend to sneak into my reviews without my noticing, so if you don’t want me to blow some detail of the movie for you beware. I’ll try my best not to give away anything important, although if I do, I’ll at least try to let you know.)

T3 was a disappointment for me. One review I read I think said it best with: T2 is to T3 like Das Boot is to U-571 (the director of which also directed T3): U-571 is a fun little action movie that takes place on a sub, but when compared to Das Boot it is apparent that U-571 doesn’t really have a soul to it of its own. The same with T3. It’s a really fun action movie, and yet it is missing the depth that James Cameron infused with the fantastic T2 (James Cameron has no involvement in T3, since he and the producers had a falling out a long time ago). Having just rewatched the first two movies a week ago, it becomes apparent when watching T3 that there is actually no story in this one, at least nothing that would stand on its own without the action set pieces. Instead the movie feels like an extended chase scene that stalls inevitability. It feels like an Act One of a Three act play, or like the Second Renaissance shorts of the animatrix. Nothing is concluded, none of the characters grow, nothing of particular interest actually happens. There is none of the “Fate is what we make” fun of the first two movies, which leaves the movie with an overall despair that doesn’t suit the action movie the script is wrapped around.

The movie is made with a self awareness that is so startlingly omnipresent that the movie starts to feed off of the audience’s knowledge of what’s come before. All of the humor of the movie relates directly to something that happened in the first two movies. While some of it is really good, it would be nice to see a new joke that’s a lot better than the gay stripper joke at the start of the movie.

There are two really good reasons to watch this movie, the first being the amazing crane chase. This rivals the chase in the Matrix Reloaded for coolest chase of the year, the CGI being extremely well done and believable as buildings and cars are smashed all over the place. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more destructive chase, the crane being just as scary as the semis in the first two movies, if not more so. This scene is reason enough to see this movie. Also increadibly cool is the knock-down, drag out fight between Arnold and the Terminatrix in the military base. It pretty much consists of the two of them throwing each other thru walls, and then destroying a men’s room, piece by piece. It’s pretty damn cool.

Otherwise there is not much to love in this movie, other than it having really impressive special effects all over. There is almost no score to this movie, which I found odd, since in T2 some of the most spine tingling moments come from the industrial factory on speed soundtrack. Who can forget the score for when Robert Patrick as the T1000 was running after a car, or just the general creepy noises that come out of nowhere whenever a Terminator is on screen. There is none of that here. In fact the main theme for the Terminator isn’t even heard until the closing credits. Speaking of credits, the openning ones are extremely lame black background and white type, with nothing else to look at. Where are the cool credits from T2?

I guess Claire Danes and Nick Stahl are alright, considering they are given just husks of characters to try to develop in the movie; Nick’s backstory is completely from T2–he’s got nothing new to work with. Arnold I feel could have used a little more direction. Sometimes he is spot on as the Terminator, and yet at other points you wish they would have done at least one more take. Kristanna Loken as the Terminatrix lacks the badassness of Arnold’s Terminator, or the cold creepy robot like behavior of Richard Patrick’s T-1000. Instead she is just vacant most of the time, not unlike the fashion dummies on display in the storefront she first appears in. I also kind of wish they spent a little more time explaining what exactly she can do, being half T-800, half T-1000, with a dash of something else. (Can anyone tell me why Arnold’s Terminator model number is now T-101?)

One question: Does the fact that Arnold’s Terminator has never ran once that I can remember, while the other two Terminators have done lots of running, imply that he is slower and less effective, or that he is more badass and doesn’t have to run (considering that in the original Terminator he was the only one of the Terminators to remotely come close to killing his target, and in the two sequels he has been successful in fighting off the far superior models)?

Anyway, the final review that this is one of the most expensive B-movies ever made, with some decent action but not much else to wet your whistle. I’d talk about the end of the movie, but I don’t want to give it away for people who haven’t seen it, so I guess I’ll just go to my grade for it, which is:

B-

[pause]

“What’ll you take in trade?”

NAME THAT QUOTE!

This one is a little easier than the last one I think, although much to my surprise, not only did Anna get it, but she was quite thorough about who said what. I was impressed. For those who didn’t see it, I’ll repeat Anna’s wonderful answer:

“true lies, Grant Heslov as “Faisil” in reference to why they call the terrorist guy (Art Malik as “Salim Abu Aziz”) the “Sand Spider.””

I really didn’t think anyone would get it, so I’ll have to get back to you, Anna, on what the prize actually is.

—

Is it just me, or does the shocked face from my last post not look shocked at all?

——Reality TV——

I have a thing for reality TV, as does probably most human beings who still watch TV in this day and age. Like scripted shows it can either be completely unwatchable crap (American Juniors, anyone?) or it can actually be really entertaining and involving (like the first two killer seasons of Survivor). In my other blog (which if you haven’t read yet, you should; the link’s below) I discussed some of the ramifications of having such a reality based society (and its effect on blog-dom), but right now I just want to talk about what I’m into this summer.

The Amazing Race 4 — I’ve never seen any episodes from the first three, but as I have nothing better to do this summer I checked this one out when it began a month ago. Man does this show kick ass. I recommend that if you are like me, and haven’t checked it out until now, you should do so (Thursdays, 8, CBS) because it is some damn fine reality TV. Two things I’ve learned about the world A) I really want to go to Europe, and B) I don’t think I ever want to go to India, and I especially don’t want to take a damn dirty train in India. Especially you woman-folk out there: don’t go to India. It’s bad news. Anyway, watching the show now I’m actually rooting for the two model friends who I couldn’t stand at the beginning of the show. They are just getting so damn interesting now (and hot). The Circus clowns are also really fun. I hope they make it far. My favorite person (character?) though is the firey redhead who is constantly yelling at her fiance only to be wrong like 90% of the time. It’s pretty funny.

Big Brother 4 — It’s coming next Tuesday! It better not suck. I like the idea of adding in your ex’s to the house though, that could really go any way in messing around with the group dynamics. I’ve watched every season of this (well not all of 1, because it SUCKED!) Season 1 was so boring that I had no hopes for season two (I can’t even really remember who won 1, nor do I think anyone else can) but two was amazingly awesome, and three was even better. Let’s hope 4 decides to pick up the trend instead of regressing. And two words for this show: More Sex. It helps alot.

——

Is pot good for you? Check out this link:

http://content.health.msn.com/content/article/70/80972.htm

“Why?”

“Probably because it sounds scary.”

Name that quote, win a prize.

——Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle——

Anyway, tonight I went to go see Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. I was suppose to be picked up at 6:15. Ross showed up almost a half hour later. Then we had to pick up Harry and Brian. They took their sweet ass time getting into the car, making us even later, and then we get about a mile down the road when they realize that we are seeing Charlie’s Angels and not T3, so they get out of the car. The whores. Ross told them they were going to be seeing it. Big fat bitches is what they are.

Anyway we got their after the first trailer, so we weren’t too bad off. Ross sped like hell. The theater was extremely crowded, which was odd considering A) Charlie’s Angels hasn’t exactly been packing them in since it openned, B) T3, Legally Blonde 2 and Sinbad openned today, C) it is a Wednesday night, and D) in Bennington there is almost never a packed house for ANYTHING. That and the entire crowd looks like it is still in grade school. Ross and I were probably the oldest people there. But when we got out we realized what was going on. There were two buses the kids were packing on to. A summer camp had apparently taken a field trip to go to the movies.

But the movie, what about the movie? (and the children!) you say! It was pretty good, not great, but good. It gave exactly what it promised, which is color-blinding fun without any substance. Parts of the movie make no sense whatsoever, and some parts just aren’t that great, but if you saw the trailer to it and said “That looks fun!” then you will probably enjoy it like I did.

The soundtrack is filled with 90’s techno and 80’s popular songs. It’s odd. There’s almost nothing from the last say five, six, seven years on the soundtrack. And two tracks from the Prodigy. Didn’t they have a song on the last movie? No matter. What this movie is is a giant music video, especially considering almost no section is without music, some scenes even cramming in like four/five songs before they are over.

What about the T&A, you say? There is plenty. Lots of booty shaking, ass slapping, clothes stripping, and I think I almost saw nipple action. I wouldn’t doubt that in the R rated DVD they are going to put out that there is actually nipple. I swear it is almost there before they cut to something else. That and Demi Moore gives Cameron Diaz the most disturbing kiss I’ve ever seen. For no real reason. It has to be seen to be believed.

Although I have no idea why Crispen Glover was in this movie, he really steals every scene he is in. Bernie Mac is also quite delightful.

Demi Moore is damn diggity hot. And my favorite Angel is Lucy Lu, if you wanted to know. So cute.

John Cleese is also in this movie, but again, I have no idea why. He serves even less purpose than Crispen Glover.

All and all, a fun ride. It is a bad movie, yes, but a movie so bad it is good. It’s pure cheese, and they know it, and as long as you know it and are willing to play along, you will enjoy. My overall grade for the movie is a B-, since it isn’t a particularly good film, but again, if you like cheese and the trailers looked fun to you, you will enjoy it.

—–

Ok, if you would like to read any or all of my past rantings in my other blog, go to the following webpage:

http://cestnonunblog.blogspot.com/

There’s lots of fun stuff there and you should look for yourself!

Here’s one post just to see what’s what.