I haven’t posted lately. I know. I’ve been preoccupied. By the usuals, of course, comics and blockbuster films. But also with work. It’s hard not to be preoccupied with work when everything has been so crazy lately.

This, obviously, is our busiest time of year, but we’ve been busier than we’ve ever been this week. In the last three days we’ve done more business than we do in some months in the Spring. It’s crazy. It all started off Friday, when I finally cashed in on the greatest sale I’ve ever made. Seriously, this was a thing of beauty. It was also an epic pain in the ass, but I did it, baby! For that I finally got the store’s coveted MVP of the Week award.

Jim came in about a month ago, I did my thing, he was impressed and he left a credit card imprint with us at the store so that if he wanted to make the purchase over the phone with us, he could do so. Because, you see, he lives in Ohio. I didn’t really give a second thought to this because people say they’ll come back to buy stuff all of the time, but you know what? They lie. 90% of people out there are damn dirty liars. Seriously, when you work in retail long enough and someone says they’ll “be back” to purchase it that usually means you will NEVER SEE OR HEAR FROM THAT PERSON AGAIN. You have to quickly resist the urge to flippantly say, “Yeah, whatever…” and at least pretend like you believe them in the hopes that they might be one of few people in the world who aren’t the devil.

Jim surprised me my calling back and asking me to write up a proposal for a bunch of stuff that we talked about. I went about crafting the perfect proposal, making sure that ever number was correct and everything he could possibly need was included. The thing seriously took me like an hour to write up, as there were multiple options for things he might want. I send it off, giddy with anticipation for what is sure to be a lot of money in our pockets.

I get in the next day and the read one of the worst emails that I have ever received. Jim has gone into a store in Ohio, got a proposal from them, realized that we were recommending the same things and that the prices were the same, and so has asked me to rip up his credit card imprint because he is going to buy from them. After I finish reading I basically…have a panic attack. What? This is from the guy who has already told me that he wants to give me his business because I did such a professional job with him. He told me he appreciated my efforts. And he repays that appreciation by BUYING FROM A RIVAL STORE? You bastard!

Those who know me (or at least read this blog carefully) know that I tend to have some rage problems when it comes to betrayal. Saying you are going to buy from another store is one thing. We get that all of the time. You just learn to live with it. But saying you really loved the job I did showing you everything we have to offer and then asking me to write out a rather lengthy proposal, only to trivialize that effort by saying that it looked like I used a “proposal generator” (which I didn’t), which anyone could do and then taking that to another store that didn’t do shit for you? Oh no you didn’t!

I fought. I fought like hell for that sale. While I didn’t exactly say this, my tone in my reply email was basically, “How dare you!” I’m not ripping up that imprint until you give me one good reason why it is better to go through Ohio on this. He (and basically everyone at work I told this too) was surprised at the balls I had to confront him head on with this. And so he basically challenged me: Why should I go with you guys instead of with Ohio? And I’m happy to say that I met the challenge with flying colors. After a little back and forth we finally came to what he really wanted, and I walked away with my biggest sale ever. Over $14,000 worth of product. It took me almost two hours to ring the whole sale through. Phew! You could have given me six Red Bulls and I wouldn’t have been flying higher than I was Friday afternoon. (Did I mention I got confirmation to go through the sale right as I was getting ready to leave early for the day? That didn’t happen.)

My inability to let go of this sale has gotten me the nickname at work of Mad Dog Merrell.

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The very next day, though, was a dark one for me. Not for the store, by any means, but for me. We did more in one day that day than the store has ever done in history. It was a landmark I’ve been looking forward to breaking for seemingly forever. Why am I so angry then? Because I wasn’t freakin’ there! Rachel, for reasons unknown to me, decided to give me Saturday as my only day off this week. I know that sounds weird, because for most people getting Saturday off would be a godsend, but for me it was pointless. What the hell am I going to do on a Saturday? I can’t get anything done on a Saturday. Even weirder, I have Monday-Tuesday off. Why didn’t I just get Sunday off and make a three-day weekend out of it? So I’m home, reading a comic when Rachel calls me to tell me that we did the impossible. And I…wasn’t…there. I’m at the top of my game and I’m put on the bench. Grrr…

Of course when I came back in Sunday, everyone knew I’d be pissed. They also knew I’d want to beat that number. Because I’m competitive like that. Hell, I’m the guy that said that we should try to get over 50% attendance for the show, not really believing it possible, and then made it happen. You don’t know how hard I tried to get us over this hill. And I wasn’t there for it. Well, we didn’t do it again, but we did still have some amazing business. It was, again, one of our best days ever. We’re kicking so much ass. And if there is any time to do it, it’s now. Double Bonus in December is a crapload of money. We’ve never done it as long as I’ve been here. And guess what my goal for myself is this year as Assistant Manager?