Last night I got pulled over for speeding. Again. I should have known better. I was getting a little cocky. It seems like I get a ticket every year or so, just to keep me honest. Hey, if I have to pay a speeding tax of $83 every year, I think it’s worth it.
Funny thing is, when you are caught speeding, going 71 in a 55 on a road where you normally drive 80, you don’t really feel like you were speeding. It’s almost a tad bit insulting. I was driving a little slower because I knew the cops were out. And yet I get pulled over anyway. What’s the dealio, copper?
Fun fact: Every time I get caught speeding, I’m speeding again within 10 seconds after getting my ticket/warning. Basically, just about as long as it takes to get out of range of that radar gun. You can tell that the lesson is really sinking in.
It happened on the cursed Bennington Bypass. I swear that road was built on an Indian burial ground.
The trick to being aces with the Po-po is to just tell the truth. The cop (who seemed like a nice guy) asked me if I had any points on the license in New York or Vermont (I was caught in VT). Not exactly sure how to answer this question without laughing, I paused before mumbling, “I think so” and “In Vermont.” The police officer went back to his car and took what seemed like forever to do whatever he does back there. He came back and informed me that he couldn’t find anything in the system for me. Again, I stifled the urge to laugh in his face and shout: “OH YEAH?!”
Instead I just nodded my head and said, “Hmm…well that must have been more than two years ago.”
Yeah, right.
Anyway, as a first offense type thingy he took five miles off, lowering my fine considerably. They always do that. That would be the only way that I’m super lucky. He then told me about how points went away after two years, as a kind of “Thanks for learning your lesson” reward. I neglected to mention the fact that I planned on speeding away just as soon as he stopped looking at me.
I must be mad, because I found the whole thing very funny. The only thing not funny? Those flashing lights on top of the cop car. Those things made me wicked dizzy. They’re like crazy strobe lights.
The best part about the whole thing? I still got home before I said I would. How’s that for speeding?!
C'est Non Un Blog 
83 skins for 71 in a 55? That’s 135 bones in Mass. You must have charmed them. I never get breaks, probably because I can’t help but look pissed.
He knocked five MPH off so my ticket was a lot less. It would have been that much, if he hadn’t.
Funny thing: The trooper actually came into the store today, and I didn’t even recognize him. Greated him and everything. He was working with Jeremy and asked him to put something on hold for him when we got it, and told Jeremy to “make sure Ben didn’t handle it,” because I might “accidentally” drop it. He was joking, of course. He actually said something that made it sound like he bent the rules for me (because I know I had points in the system). He’s a pretty cool guy. The bastard.