(July 10)

——Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)——

The first half-hour of this movie is completely unnecessary. I mean, my God, when you have a movie that’s already over two and a half hours long, do you really need a boring first half-hour that has little action, features lots of exposition that could have just as easily been incorporated with the rest of the movie, and lots of pointless scenes that go nowhere? I think not. Someone really needed to take the editing pencil to the beginning of this screenplay. Condense people, condense! I was sure this movie was going to suck as much as a lot of the critics wanted me to believe. But once we got through that painful first section and the movie was allowed to move off with some forward momentum it became quite the thrill ride. The special effects are just jaw droppingly amazing. You know how everything has looked just a little fake since the CGI revolution took place, where you can very obviously tell that some things in a scene were made on a computer and were nowhere near the set when these things were shot? You almost never have that problem in this movie. Davy Jones in particular is just breathtakingly realistic. Holy crap! How’d they do that, you’ll say? And the Craken. Holy crow, is that thing cool. The movie, once you get past the boring first part, has all the same thrills and fun that you’d expect after seeing the first movie. And the ending? Well, let’s just say that this is the Pirate version of Empire Strikes Back.

(SEE)

——The Frighteners (Director’s Cut) (1996)——

This is a fun little horror/comedy–emphasis on the comedy–from director Peter Jackson before he did that little movie no one has ever heard of called The Lord of the Rings. Michael J. Fox is a fake ghostbuster who, after a freak accident, can see ghosts, befriends them, and then uses them to hit other people up for money by staging a fake haunting that he “cleans” up. His life kind of sucks, as he hasn’t been the same since his wife died and being a charlatan isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. But when a real serial killer comes back as a ghost to rack up some more victims, Fox is forced to try the ghostbuster thing on for real before everyone he now cares about dies.

Even though the movie is supposed to take place in the US, Jackson’s locals are obviously right in the middle of Kiwi-town, which is OK, because it lends the movie some of their quirky charm. Fox is great in the movie. This isn’t a great movie that you will be talking about for weeks, but its fun enough that you’ll probably watch it over and over on rainy afternoons much more than you would those so called “great” movies.

(SEE)

——The Gambler (1974)——

What a cool movie. I’d never heard of this before Entertainment Weekly’s online DVD Insomniac reviewed it. It’s one of those Paramount cheapies you find for less than $10 bucks in the bargain bin with all that other crap. This does not belong. James Caan, in perhaps one of his greatest roles, plays a NYU English professor with a compulsive gambling problem. This guy lives for gambling, not because he likes winning money but because he loves the thrill that he could LOSE. It’s a bizarre sentiment, but you come to understand it a little better after he gives a few lectures in his classroom that relate to what is happening to him in the film. Caan’s character loves the thrill that comes from when you could lose because it means that when you do win, the win is that much more potent, like a drug. In the movie he is a perpetual loser, too. At the start of the film he has racked up a huge debt that he needs to pay off. Instead of just finding the money and paying them off though, he has to gamble to get the money back. His mother gives him the money he needs and he takes it to Vegas. There he actually wins, but loves gambling so much that he places some bets on basketball games that he then loses. The mob then finds out that he has a student in his class that plays for the basketball team that they could get to to throw a game for them…

The movie is just really well made, really classy, just the kind of brilliant cinema you’ve come to expect out of the 70’s. The ending is just fantastic.

(SPOILER ALERT)

The final scene sees Caan get into a fight with a pimp where he gets cut up really bad. He’s almost killed. But he wins the fight. The look on his face as the movie ends is priceless. He stares at the cut and all of the blood and just smiles. Another gamble, another thrill.

(MUST SEE)

(July 11)

——Sin City: Recut. Extended. Unrated. (2005)——

I was really disappointed when I finally dug into this Special Edition DVD. Don’t get me wrong, the extras on the disk are fantastic, but what I really came for was the Recut. Extended. Unrated. version of the film. I’m a fan of the theatrical version, and an even bigger fan of the comics. Huge fan of the comics, actually. Like my favorite comics ever. So I was pumped to see more pages from the comics put to film. Unfortunately this extended edition of the film disappointed in almost every way. First off, you can’t watch the extended version as one film, like the theatrical version, with the different stories all cut together. Instead you have four mini-movies, one for each of the Sin City yarns. There is no option to see them all cut together. So that sucks. The unrated thing is a joke, since the most graphic material actually made it into the theatrical version. Are you going to try to tell me that seeing a man quickly cut in half is more graphic than seeing Bruce Willis rip That Yellow Bastards nuts off? I don’t think so. But what about the extended scenes? Well, there almost aren’t any! Marv has a good one where he sees his mom and gets his gun, Gladys (the one scene I was extremely pissed to see wasn’t in the theatrical version). It’s awesome. Marv practically dances with Gladys in his hands. There is some exposition added to Hardigan’s tale, which is nice, but completely unnecessary for watching the film. And there are some nice scene extensions for Dwight’s tale, which shouldn’t have been cut to begin with. But other than that there is almost nothing new. I was really disappointed they couldn’t find anything more to add. And the fact that you can’t watch everything edited together is just retarded. I’d still recommend getting this DVD, because it does contain the original theatrical cut and a buttload of extras, but if you get this just for the new version of the film, prepare to be disappointed.

(MISS)

(July 12)

——The Baxter (2005)——

I think that the critics unfairly crapped on this film when it first came out. All of the reviews that I read talked about missed potential. That the movie could have really been about something grander and that the filmmakers wussed out, or something. It’s a shame they think that, because what this movie really is is an excellent romantic comedy in the disguise of another movie about the plight of the slighted lover. Looking at it from a different perspective shows a cleaver slight of hand feeding you the same movie you’ve seen a million times before from a very different point of view.

But what is a Baxter? Probably the best way to describe one is to give you an example and fortunately for us, the summer movie season has already given us a doozy of a Baxter. Superman Returns. There is Superman. Lois Lane. And then there is the Baxter. James Marsden (a typecast Baxter if there ever was one in the modern movie climate) plays Richard, Lois’ fiancee and supposed father of her son. He’s a great guy. Smart, nice, funny. You really like him. The only thing wrong with him is that he’s not Superman. Jeez, tough luck there, huh? That’s a Baxter. A Baxter is the nice guy who everyone likes and is with the girl before the perfect guy for the girl comes and sweeps her off of her feet. Michael Showater gives us a movie about one such Baxter, a compromise to “true love” and the epitome of “settling”.

The movie starts at the end and works its way forward. They are at the altar. “If anyone has any reason why these two should not be joined together…” and the perfect guy comes in. Elliot Sherman is a nice enough guy, he just doesn’t take those precautions that make a woman fall in love with you. We see how one goes about being a Baxter.

Or do we? The movie is actually two movies going in opposite directions. This may seem like an anti-romantic comedy but it is actually very much a romantic comedy. Anyone with half a brain can see it coming from a mile away. So the fun of the movie comes from seeing the two opposing plots moving against each other. It is really funny because if you’ve seen enough films in this genre you will definitely notice the cliches making their way through the background while missing the exact same cliches announcing themselves in the foreground. It’s like one big fun puzzle box.

Now, the movie is by no way perfect, but it does offer up more fun and wit than 90% of the “popular” crap romantic comedies out there that people for some reason eat up despite their obvious sucktitude. Go ahead, give this Baxter a shot. It might surprise you. (And, beyond anything else, it has the heavenly Michelle Williams in it, my new Hollywood crush.)

(SEE)

——-Gunner Palace (2004)——

Gunner Palace is one of Uday’s pleasure palaces that have been converted into a forward operating base for the troops in Iraq. This documentary is about some of the guys who live there, about their life in the base and out on patrol in the dangerous Iraqi streets. These are really likable guys, and the soundtrack is for the most part made by them, consisting of freestyle rhymes, spontaneous guitar riffs or tracks they’ve cut themselves. It’s really interesting to see where these guys are coming from, what they are like (not monsters in the least) and what it is like for them living in a world where a 19 year old kid could be killed any day on his way into work. It doesn’t break any real boundaries or call out any higher truths, but it is still very interesting to see where these guys are coming from. I’d recommend giving it a rental.

(SEE)

(July 13)

——Green Street Hooligans (2004)——

It feels like I’ve seen a lot of movies with Elijah Wood in them lately. Weird. Even weirder is that this film was recommended to me by the girl at Blockbuster. There is this board near the door that has everyone who works at the store’s name on it, and their latest DVD rental picks. Hers had 16 Blocks (good) Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (awesome) and Green Street Hooligans (huh?). After seeing Green Street Hooligans I have to say, not a bad list.

Elijah Wood gets kicked out of Harvard because his rich kid roommate had some coke in the room and said it was Wood’s. Wood gets on a plane to England to visit his sister, who has married a Brit. There he meets the Brit’s brother (that English kid from Undeclared), a soccer (uh, er hem, football, I’m sorry) hooligan, and the Brit suggests that the hooligan take his brother-in-law out with him. He, of course, wants nothing to do with a Yank, but his brother insists and they end up being stuck with each other. After the football match, Wood goes off on his own and gets jumped by a rival firm (ie, football gang) who saw him at the game. His fellow hooligans come in to help him out, starting a giant rumble. Wood doesn’t do that bad in the fight and thus becomes part of the firm.

Not everyone is for this though. The previous best friend has a huge resentment against Wood, who has quickly become one of the core members of the firm. Also, no one knows that he was a journalism major, because hooligans HATE journalists. The fights get bigger, the tension grows higher, until Wood realizes that fighting can be good for the soul, but you’ve got to know when to not throw a punch. All and all, a pretty solid, entertaining flick.

(SEE)

(July 14)

——Elizabethtown (2005)——

I was surprised. I thought this was supposed to suck. That’s what every major critic would have you believe when the movie first came out last year. I rented it on a whim, just because I liked Cameron Crowe movies, and what do you know, the movie (aside for a few minor parts) doesn’t suck! It’s actually kind of good. I do agree that Orlando Bloom can’t carry a movie by himself, though. I haven’t seen him in anything yet that makes me think he could. But still, this movie is really good, really heartfelt, and really fun.

Bloom is a rich and successful shoe designer that makes a shoe that is supposed to change the world, but then the shoe is recalled and his career is over (the movie never says what the shoe does or what’s wrong with it, unfortunately). He’s about to kill himself in one of the most bizarre suicides ever when his sister calls, telling him that his dad is dead and he has to go to Elizabethtown, Kentucky to pick up the body. On the way there he meets a creepy, needy and yet somehow charming flight attendant (Kirsten Dunst) who for some reason really likes him and lets him have her phone number. That night, alone in the hotel, when no one else will pick up the phone he calls her, and they talk all night long. You just hear segments of their conversations, not whole thoughts but you know what they are talking about anyway. Elizabethtown is actually a really touching, beautiful love story set on the backdrop of going to a funeral and seeing family you almost never see. It’s quirky, often very funny. It’s one of those romantic comedies a guy might actually sit through because it’s not all mushy (and crap). I had one real problem with the movie, though. At the end, Dunst gives Bloom an awesome roadtrip book filled with pictures, maps, and CDs designed for specific songs to play at specific times during the trip. It’s totally sweet. Except she, according to the movie’s logic, made this giant book in like four hours time. What? How the fuck did she do that?

Anyway, this is a seriously underrated movie. Leagues above Vanilla Sky. Check this out if you get the chance.

(SEE)

——Masters of Horror: Homecoming (2005)——

To be honest, this Masters of Horror episode doesn’t really have that many typical horror moments at all. I mean, this is a zombie movie where the zombies want to vote, not eat people. You don’t see that every day. Joe Dante took this opportunity not to craft a stylish horror film but to create an incredible political commentary on our current day and age. While that means that this film has a much deeper meaning for allegory than any of the other episodes, it also unfortunately means the actual horror elements leave a lot to be desired.

I think it says a lot when the scariest part of the film happens early on at a Fox News-type political talk show, where an Anne Coulter type character, a tele-evangelist and a White House spokesman find creative ways to defend the war in Iraq and attack hurt mothers who want to know why their sons had to die. No zombies yet. Just disgusting political discourse that could have actually been pre-recorded right off of Fox News. See, the White House spokesman wishes that the dead soldiers could come back to tell us what they fought for and his wish comes true. Except the zombies are pissed off. They don’t know why they died. They find their voice in the current election, where they place their vote to oust the current president. In another unfortunate real life twist, the government loses the election but rigs the election anyway, causing the zombies to run loose on Capital Hill.

This episode is really well done and surprisingly poignant. It just lacks a little on the horror side. Which when I started buying these disks, I wanted fun horror. Not angry moral attacks against our current administration. That’s not really a bad thing though.

(SEE)

(July 15)

——Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room (2005)——

If you are like me and knew about the whole Enron thing but at the same time didn’t actually know anything about what it was really all about, then this is an essential movie for you. I learned A LOT. Wow. This is a crazy documentary. You’ll be yelling at the screen, asking the world and God why and how this could happen. It’s just crazy. If you don’t know anything about Enron, let me fill in a little for you. Essentially this company got away with making up their own numbers so that their stock prices always went up. Apparently there is this crazy form of economics where you can basically tell people what you think are going to be the next quarters and they buy or sell based on that information you give them. Enron took full advantage of this system. Even if you were hemorrhaging money right now, you could tell the investors on Wall Street that you expected another quarter of profits and they would just believe you based on your word. That’s pretty much how the company crumbled, when someone actually called them on what their numbers actually were instead of what they projected them to be.

The description of these head honchos at Enron is just horrifying. Watch this back to back with a documentary of the rise of the Nazi party and notice how little difference there is between both institutions’ Darwin-esq attitude of survival of the fittest. These were pretty much smart guys who thought that as long as they could use their brains to stay one step ahead of everyone else they could continue to rake in the money. And this theory works for a long while. California is what screwed it all up. What I didn’t realize was that Enron was directly responsible for Governor Gray Davis getting kicked out of California in favor of the frickin’ Terminator. I’m serious. Remember those rolling blackouts? Enron was playing the power grids like the stock market, artificially boosting the need for power and in turn raising the prices of power. They made a fortune, Californians paid for it. Madness.

This, I think, should be essential viewing for anyone who cares about the world they live in.

(MUST SEE)

——Mysterious Skin (2004)——

Every once and a while you see a film that just floors you. Blam! Holy crap, what did I just see? Mysterious Skin wasn’t anything like I thought it was going to be, and that’s a good thing. This was one of the rare times that I actually sat through the entire end credits, just blown away by the film that I had just seen (it didn’t hurt that the final song was a beautiful Sigur Ros track). The story is about two teens in Kansas who couldn’t be more different and yet share a similar life changing experience. One as a boy experienced blackouts and periods of missing time where he would come to with a bloody nose. He becomes obsessed with UFOs, thinking he was abducted after seeing a special on TV with similar experiences to his own. The other (played by that kid from 3^rd Rock from the Sun) had a relationship with his Little League coach as a small boy, but he actually liked it. Grown up and gay, he’s constantly looking for this ideal relationship, which leads him to a life of prostitution, which he enjoys. The two of them share a common experience that you might be able to guess but will still surprise and shock you when you actually see and hear it for yourself. This movie is so raw, so different, so emotionally stacked. The acting, script, cinematography, direction and soundtrack are all unforgettable. For some it might be hard to watch, because it has some very disturbing parts, but the payoff is so worth it. This movie will hit you like a truck full of bricks. Oh man, I loved this movie. You don’t find many that work on you so well as this one does.

(DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH)

——Palindromes (2004)——

After Todd Solondz’s disappointing Storytelling this was a welcome surprise. It still isn’t as good as some of his earlier films, but I found myself getting into it anyway. It has a weird sort of gimmick, one I’m still not entirely sure I’m on board for. The story is about a girl who gets pregnant and is taken to an abortion clinic by her mother to get rid of it. After the abortion she runs off on her own little Odyssey, trying to get pregnant again. Along the way she happens to stay with Momma Sunshine, a Christian mother of children with disabilities that were abandoned by their parents. She also happens to be very anti-abortion. The gimmick is that the main girl who goes through all of this is played by, I think, nine different actresses. It’s an interesting way to tell a story. I’m not sure I get the whole point of it, but it is still interesting. The movie, likewise brings up a lot of issues without answering any major questions, leaving it to you to decide what really is right or wrong about the movie, or if there is anything right or wrong with it at all. Todd Solondz always wants to get you talking, and this movie is no exception.

(SEE)

(July 16)

——House of Games (1987)——

Until this, I hadn’t really seen a David Mamet film that I liked. Sure, I could admire the craft and all that crap, but I didn’t really like the movies. Glengarry Glen Ross was just too wordy for me. Fine, I admit it! Even though I quote parts of it all the time I just didn’t like the movie. I liked this movie a lot though. And it’s a con man movie at that! You guys know how I feel about con man movies. The reason why this movie works, I think, is because after the obvious con sequence ends, the movie doesn’t. The movie keeps going, developing the characters and finishing their character arcs, just like The Grifters does. It’s very surprising.

House of Games is about a psychiatrist who is a little bored with her job. When one of her patients almost commits suicide because of a debt he has with a local card shark, she goes down to the House of Games to sort it all out for him. There she meets Mike (Joe Mantegna) who agrees to cancel out the debt if she helps him out in a card game by catching another players tell for him. She sees the tell, let’s Mike know about it, and he increases his bet, even though he can’t cover it, because he knows he is going to win. He doesn’t though. The tell was not a tell. The psychiatrist goes to cover the amount owed until she realizes that she is being conned. But instead of being furious she wants to know how they did it. She wants to know how the con game is played. Using the excuse that she is researching a new book, she finds the excitement in her life that she thought she was missing. But things don’t go all roses for her…

It’s a slick, nice and understated thriller that plays on character and mood quite effectively. The acting is top notch. It’s another one of those movies you’ll pass right on by in the video store, but should pick up anyway.

(SEE)

——May (2002)——

Fans of horror, or just fans of quirky character studies, should absolutely see this film. I’d never heard of May, but after watching Lucky McKee’s fantastic Master of Horror episode, Sick Girl, I knew that I had to see this. And it didn’t disappoint. Angela Bettis is in both movies, and has quickly become my new favorite actress. She’s just fantastic, new and unique to watch.

May is the story of a girl who grew up cross-eyed and had to wear an eye-patch, which freaked a lot of people out. Thus, she didn’t really have any friends growing up. Her mother gave her a doll that she made to be her friend instead, except that May wasn’t actually allowed to take the doll out of its box. This is how she grew up. Finally May gets corrective contacts that make her look normal and she goes out looking for friends. Specifically a boyfriend. Years of having just a doll you can’t even touch as a friend has a tendency to make one a little weird, though. She falls in love with this guy, played brilliantly by Jeremy Sisto, and they actually start to go out. He kind of likes how weird she is. That is until she watches a cannibal love story student film he made and thinks that that is how he likes to make love, thus biting him on the lip and drawing blood. He dumps her. She has a girl at work who falls in love with her, Anna Faris, so May thinks that she should really be with girls. Faris is a big ol’ lesbian whore though, which puts May off. May’s mother always said that if you can’t find any friends, make one, so May, in a homicidal rage goes out to do just that…

I’d still recommend this movie to people who don’t really watch horror movies, because the gruesome stuff doesn’t really happen until the very, very end, and up until that point the movie is just a great little indie about trying to find friends in the big city. It’s great drama, great stuff. You should totally see this.

(MUST SEE)