Dear Lord, I haven’t posted anything since the Monday Movie Review. That’s not good, with tomorrow being Monday again. When I haven’t been busy I’ve been lazy, and vice versa, so here’s a greatest hits version of the last week for all of those who give a damn.

——Getting a Haircut——

Counting back two weeks from last Tuesday I had taken my sister in to get her hair cut (and, actually, chopped off much to her chagrin) and it was at that time while she was getting her hair cut/chopped that I grabbed a hold of Sharon if I could maybe get a haircut two weeks from that date. She said sure, signed me up, and that was that. (I probably could have used a haircut right then, as by two weeks later I looked like one of the Wild Men lost from civilization when I got up in the morning.)

So I walk in Tuesday but only Terry is there. I’m confused as is she, since she couldn’t figure out for the life of her which Ben she would be seeing that day. Granted, Terry used to cut my hair, but for the last two years at least I’ve been seeing Sharon for that duty. And SHE’S the one that signed me up for Tuesday, even though that was her day off. Why, we’ll never know. But I just wasted a trip into Hoosick Falls and had to come back the next day.

So to finish up what has become an extremely boring story, my hair is now cut and I again look like a normal human being. The sides and back were cut back quite a lot, while the top remains long and shaggy, giving me a more hip look instead of the normal, “Don’t touch my hair if you ever want your hand back” look.

——Getting a Job——

Wednesday I finally broke down and went to the Vermont Department of Employment and Training in hopes of finding a job through them. (Why Vermont? Well, I’m closer to them really than I am to the nearest cities in New York.) I went after getting my haircut and got a little lost trying to find the place, and I walked in just under the gun. Little did I know office hours ended at 3, but I saw Steve anyway and he was real nice about it. I was in there for about an hour and got two decent job opportunities out of it, which hopefully one of which will turn into something.

The first is with Bose Stereo equipment in Manchester, doing presentations and working sales or something like that. So anyway, Steve hooks me up with a job interview. Sue, who I would be talking to won’t be there until next week, but she says come in anyway and talk to Jim, their new assistant manager. So the next day I have my first big job interview, or as I like to call it, the morning from hell.

First of all, I get like no sleep, as this is the first important thing I’ve had to do since I graduated Bard. I actually get up a few minutes early, but somehow manage to spend too long in the shower, and thus am now late. The pants I picked out don’t fit. I need to grab another pair. I jump in the car and am about to throw in a new tape I just made the night before, but the tape in there is jammed and won’t come out. So I start playing with this thing as I’m speeding down the road, and it starts to snow.

Now I haven’t been up to Manchester in at least ten years, and I have no idea where I’m going. I’m speeding on a road I’ve never driven where you can’t even see the lines because of piled up snow. My windshield wiper fluid doesn’t work. I get stuck behind not one, but two dump trucks. By some stroke of luck I get there only one minute late and find the place fairly easily. I walk in and Jim makes me fill out an application. I have my resume handy, but OK. I fill out what’s needed, come back and…thanks! Nice to meet you. Uh, wasn’t there an interview somewhere in there? Jim doesn’t seem to know there was. Fuck. I drive home in disgust.

The second job is one at Global Z, some company that translates foreign addresses so that we in America can understand them. I’m not really sure what the job entails, and I hope that they don’t require that I’m a programmer to do the job, but otherwise it sounds interesting. It’s a family operation, and the family is from somewhere in Europe. I can’t get out of my head the image of the dude ranch couple Francis works for on Malcolm in the Middle. I could only be so lucky.

——Harry——

After the disaster of the Bose interview that wasn’t, Harry came over and we watched Princess Blade and talked DVDs. Also we happened to come upon the topic of his new conquest, a Filipino from, you guessed it, the Philippines, that replaces the crazy Egyptian girl and the ex-stripper as his new internet girlfriend. He’s an odd one. When I asked why he couldn’t just find a girlfriend in the US around here, he said he like foreign women, mainly Asian women right now. They aren’t around here. When I asked why he couldn’t just go to the mall to find one, he kind of avoided my question.

Afterwards we went to his house to play a little Tekken 4 and watch Bjork videos while we waited for Brian to show up. Then we went to this place in Albany called Bombers that was freezing cold but gave you a burrito I swear was the size of your forearm (if you chopped off the ends it would fit around your arm easily) for 6 bucks. Interesting dinner conversation included the fact that no, Harry does not indeed have the clap. Way to go, man.

——TV——

Scrubs and the Apprentice are both awesome shows, but could NBC please quit being a bitch and find a proper place for them? It appears that they have, after American Idol’s third night of tryouts thoroughly kicked the Apprentice’s ass in the ratings. So Apprentice is now permanently on Thursdays 9-10 to try to suck ratings off of CSI, while Scrubs gets fucked in the ass repeatedly as it gets moved to its new timeslot on Tuesdays. Well, at least its going to be on regularly now, and at least Sam, the crazy man, was fired off of the Apprentice (in what was probably the most surreal “the tribe has spoken” moment ever, when Trump fired him he just sat there and starred intensely at Trump, either trying a last ditch effort to get him to change his mind or preparing to go loco and kill everyone).

American Idol season 3 has only proved that there is an incredible multitude of morons in this country. And they all believe they can sing. It’s all gotten very idiotic, and even Paula is getting a little bitchy having to watch all of these losers. Hell, Randy is as nasty as Simon is now. My favorite audition was the black kid who didn’t give a fuck about being the American Idol. He simply showed up because he thought it would be cool to be the American Idol, but other than that the whole thing meant nothing to him. He was a big old apathy sandwich. The judges, appropriately, kicked him out before even letting him sing.

Thank the good Lord, WB is FINALLY showing new episodes again. It’s been what, almost two months since there has been a new episode of Gilmore Girls? What’s up with that, WB?

Ed has come to his final two episodes. Presumably ever. And I seem to be the only one that even slightly cares. And I really only really slightly care. America’s love story, or as I like to call it, TV’s most annoying promos ever, has finally come to an end.

One more week until Survivor All-Stars! Sweet!

——The Golden Globes——

I almost didn’t watch these, because it just seemed so pointless. But it was actually a pretty nice show. You’ve got to respect the Globes for keeping a tight schedule, especially in light of next month’s Oscars, which will probably be, like always, bloated to degrees that no one wants to watch. Most of the speeches were pretty good (except for mainly Rene Zellewigger, who was unusually extremely boring) especially Bill Murray’s. That’s probably the closest I’ve ever seen anyone come to saying fuck you to the whole award’s show bullshit, and it was hilarious. Bonus shout out to the lead actor of the Office, who upon winning his second Globe of the night just rambled on wasting time until the light came on telling him to rap it up, and as soon as it came on he just stopped what he was saying and walked off the stage.

And you’ve got to love the winners for best picture: Lost in Translation and LotRs: Return of the King. 9 out of the last 10 years the Globes predicted the winner of the Oscar; either one of these films is extremely deserving of it. Nice!

——EW 2004 Preview——

This issue has probably the worst cover EVER. It’s Hallie Berry in her Catwoman costume. I pulled it out of the mail box and thought I had received some fucked up S&M magazine. Nope, just horrible pictures of Catwoman. (The costume looks ever WORSE from the back!) And from the article that went with it, the movie sounds like it is going to be just as shitty as the costume.

If you thought the cover was scary, stay the hell away from page 29. There is a picture of David Carradine with no shirt on that is possibly the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen A LOT of sick shit.

For those looking for Dawn of the Dead news, I give you the following:

“So how many zombies are going to get shot in the head in the Universal’s Dawn of the Dead remake? “I’d constantly fight with the studio over how many head shots to put in the movie, because the more the better,” reports director Zack Snyder. “I want zombie war. But [they’re] like, ‘If it was a war movie, you couldn’t show all those people getting shot in the head.’ And my argument was always, They’re zombies! You can shoot them in the head all day long. There’s no Zombie Defamation League!”

Lining up a good bit of product placement–the movie is set in a mall, after all–was tougher. “Starbucks didn’t want to be part of our movie, I guess because they didn’t want to see their logo with blood sprayed all over it, which I find sort of a pussy approach to marketing,” Snyder laughs.

Zombie Defamation League! Fantastic! On a sad note, the zombies in the picture appear to be running, which sucks.

——Foxy Brown DVD——

81 days after I put my check in the mail, I finally received my Foxy Brown DVD in the mail. What a dickhead. Again, it came from Deep Discount DVD, making me wonder why I didn’t just buy it from them in the first place. I would have gotten it a lot quicker. After getting it I promptly went on eBay and gave him two negative ratings. What pisses me off is that I never noticed it before, but there are tons of negative reviews on there talking about how items came late. But he has so many positive ratings that it still says that he has a 97% positive rating. How many other people are getting suckered in to buy from this fucker?

——

I had more material that you probably would have seen had I posted on a regular basis. But then, if you compare that to what I just rambled on above, I probably saved you a lot of pain and misery. I had a lot to say, but it was probably all shit anyway. Stuff like how I wished I was living in California right now, because it’s so fucking cold up here. See, just bullshit stuff. Although it is really, REALLY fucking cold up here. I’m not kidding, it’s cold.