“Why?”

“Probably because it sounds scary.”

Name that quote, win a prize.

——Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle——

Anyway, tonight I went to go see Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. I was suppose to be picked up at 6:15. Ross showed up almost a half hour later. Then we had to pick up Harry and Brian. They took their sweet ass time getting into the car, making us even later, and then we get about a mile down the road when they realize that we are seeing Charlie’s Angels and not T3, so they get out of the car. The whores. Ross told them they were going to be seeing it. Big fat bitches is what they are.

Anyway we got their after the first trailer, so we weren’t too bad off. Ross sped like hell. The theater was extremely crowded, which was odd considering A) Charlie’s Angels hasn’t exactly been packing them in since it openned, B) T3, Legally Blonde 2 and Sinbad openned today, C) it is a Wednesday night, and D) in Bennington there is almost never a packed house for ANYTHING. That and the entire crowd looks like it is still in grade school. Ross and I were probably the oldest people there. But when we got out we realized what was going on. There were two buses the kids were packing on to. A summer camp had apparently taken a field trip to go to the movies.

But the movie, what about the movie? (and the children!) you say! It was pretty good, not great, but good. It gave exactly what it promised, which is color-blinding fun without any substance. Parts of the movie make no sense whatsoever, and some parts just aren’t that great, but if you saw the trailer to it and said “That looks fun!” then you will probably enjoy it like I did.

The soundtrack is filled with 90’s techno and 80’s popular songs. It’s odd. There’s almost nothing from the last say five, six, seven years on the soundtrack. And two tracks from the Prodigy. Didn’t they have a song on the last movie? No matter. What this movie is is a giant music video, especially considering almost no section is without music, some scenes even cramming in like four/five songs before they are over.

What about the T&A, you say? There is plenty. Lots of booty shaking, ass slapping, clothes stripping, and I think I almost saw nipple action. I wouldn’t doubt that in the R rated DVD they are going to put out that there is actually nipple. I swear it is almost there before they cut to something else. That and Demi Moore gives Cameron Diaz the most disturbing kiss I’ve ever seen. For no real reason. It has to be seen to be believed.

Although I have no idea why Crispen Glover was in this movie, he really steals every scene he is in. Bernie Mac is also quite delightful.

Demi Moore is damn diggity hot. And my favorite Angel is Lucy Lu, if you wanted to know. So cute.

John Cleese is also in this movie, but again, I have no idea why. He serves even less purpose than Crispen Glover.

All and all, a fun ride. It is a bad movie, yes, but a movie so bad it is good. It’s pure cheese, and they know it, and as long as you know it and are willing to play along, you will enjoy. My overall grade for the movie is a B-, since it isn’t a particularly good film, but again, if you like cheese and the trailers looked fun to you, you will enjoy it.

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