C'est Non Un Blog

I’m not exactly ashamed to say this: Josh’s wasn’t the first place on my list of where I wanted to go on my first vacation in, oh, like forever. Unfortunately he was kind of towards the bottom of the list. And as much as it pains me to say this I only called him after others had pulled out on me. Why would this be? I mean, he’s probably my best friend and the only person I don’t see every day that I actually talk to on a weekly basis. Well, the reason was that my last trip down there wasn’t all that pleasant.

First of all, his basement where he lives was freezing. It was March of this year. We had actually hit a bit of a warm patch in the weather. The subzero temperatures of the weeks before had lifted and the temperature actually rose to unusually warm 50’s. The basement, however, was still playing catch up. I don’t think I’ve ever been so cold indoors before. Just to add insult to injury, when I took my shower the next morning it was warm just long enough to get myself all wet before the furnace kicked on and stole all heat from the water. For some reason the shower blows cold air at you and a seemingly highly pressured mist that feels like millions of tiny daggers eating away at your skin. Oh, and I also had a headache from the fact that I ate almost nothing the entire weekend (but that’s a whole other post entirely.)

Josh, if you are reading this (which you may actually be after our conversation the other day), realize that none of this is a reflection on you, nor did it ruin this weekend from actually being really fun.

Much to my relief the basement was normal basement temperature. No shivers for me, no sir. We also ate well, and frequently.

Saturday night we decided to go see a movie after eating. After hitting a Chinese/Mexican place (is this common?) Josh gave me the option of seeing a movie in a mall in White Plains or at the Burns Center in Pleasantville. Since the movie didn’t matter as much as seeing it I asked which theater had the better/classier architecture. Burns Center it was.

We had a little trouble finding the place, as one of the roads Josh would have used was flooded out, but after a slight detour we made it OK. While walking from the parking lot to the theater we passed a group of high school girls sitting on benches. Oh the words that came out of their mouths.

“Oh boys! Whatchu doing, boys? Hey, you want to come to a party…in my PANTS?”

I kid you not, I was invited to a pants party.

No luck at the theater. Everything was already sold out. There was already a MASS of upper middle class white people there. So we decided to try another theater. Of course that meant walking by the girls/whores again.

“Hey, the boys are back. Why are you coming back, boys? I like the one with the glasses.”

So take that Joshua. I’m hotter. Nah-nah-nah-nah-Nah-nah.

Off to another theater, the one we went to last time I was there. Same luck as the Burns center though, all sold out. Then back to the mall in White Plains (not 3 blocks from where we ate, but of course without any exciting pants parties to go to). We hit the parking garage. 6 levels of parking, and not a single spot open. We went up and then down. Down and then up. Up. Down. Down some more. Up. Down. Up again. Up. No more up, got to go down. And so on.

Ross called Josh while we were looking. 17 minute phone call, and we didn’t get out of the car once. We were there at least 20 minutes, if not longer before I convinced Josh to steal a spot that suddenly became available from someone who we think was waiting for that spot. Hey, it’s dog eat dog out there.

And then to the movie. I’ve never really been in a theater before that had a guy playing the piano, a food court, and a bar in the lobby. First time for everything. Screw paying $4 for a small popcorn when you can get Sbarro’s and get plastered on $10 drinks all at the same time, right?

We wanted to see Good Night, And Good Luck. There were two showings, one at 9:30 and one at 10. What we didn’t really realize was that the 9:30 was their special Director’s screening, which as far as I can tell is that you get reserved seating in crappy leather chairs. All that for $13. Forget that I usually pay half that to see a movie at home. We were hanging out, having an adventure, having a good time. We paid our $13. Not really sure I would ever do that again, but it was fun for just the once.

The movie was good. The theater was packed. But what was really scary was the fact that Josh and I were probably the youngest people there by a good 20 years, at least. I’m not really sure why the kids weren’t lining up for a black and white movie about a television journalist in the 1950s, but what are you going to do? We can’t all be at pants parties.

OK, I got my snow tires yesterday and had my 15,000 mile check up. When I drive now it kind of feels like I’m floating, like the whole car isn’t all going the same direction. It’s a very slight thing, but you know how after you drive for a while in one car it kind of becomes an extension of your body?

Now what I want to know is, should I be worried? It’s of course been very rainy lately, and the only two times I’ve driven the car since getting the snow tires it was raining and the roads were very wet. Would switching to snow tires give me that feeling in rain? Does anyone know these things?

Bird Flu, Bird Flu, Bird Flu, Bird Flu, Bird Flu, Bird Flu, Bird Flu.

Hey God? Yeah, you think you can kind of chill on the whole Bird Flu thing? Yeah, just keep up the natural disasters thing. They’re cool. I’d much rather say in heaven that I was hit by a wall of water, or my town was swollowed by the earth. You just get no respect from “a chicken gave me the sniffles…”

I’m just hoping we’ll look up at the clouds one day and will see God up there, throwing his arms in the air, saying, “I’m just kiiiiiiiiidding!”

Thank God for Japan and South Korea. Hell, just Asia in general. Every time that you thought you’d seen everything, that you couldn’t see anything any more disturbing than what you’ve already seen, along comes some obscure Asian film to make you reassess that assumption.

This week’s fucked up movie just happens to be Tetsuo: The Iron Man. Trying to describe this film to someone who hasn’t already seen it is a losing battle, but I’ll try anyway. OK, imagine David Cronenberg and David Lynch had a Japanese love child who grew up only watching only Godzilla movies, Akira, silent avante garde films from the 20’s and 30’s, 80’s music videos and robot tentacle Japornamation…and you’ve kind of got an idea of what this film is like. The plot is sparse…well, I’m not even sure there is a plot. Anyway, after you’ve seen a man insert a metal bar into his leg and grow a giant spinning drill for a penis (I’m not kidding) you know you’ve seen something unique.

I don’t know where I find all of this shit, I don’t know what watching it says about me, but I do know I love it.

Today is my last day of work before having six days off in a row! Now that may not seem like a lot, but consider the fact that I haven’t had that much time off since before I started working at Bose in February of last year. One of two things are going to happen: A) I’ll have a hell of a good time doing nothing and loving it (since no one seems to be able to hang out this weekend for whatever damn reason) or B) I’ll freak out because I’m used to having one day off, not 6.

Powerball drawing tonight! Yesterday Jeremy and I had a day long conversation on what we’d really do if we hit the Jackpot. I mean beyond getting a nice car and a nice house and some nice stuff. Beyond travelling. OK, a year or two has passed. Now what the fuck are you going to do? There are a lot of practical things to think about. Like what are you going to do for work? At first Jeremy was like, “Well I wouldn’t work.” Come on, that’s nonsense. We’re two guys in our twenties. You telling me that you are going to spend the next 60 years doing nothing? Yeah, just try and not kill yourself. You need some sort of job, even if a common working man wouldn’t actually consider it a “job” job.

So it is official: I’m addicted to the Powerball. It started out innocently enough. One ticket when the drawing was really high. Lately no one has been winning. So the jackpot keeps going up. So every time I get gas I get a Powerball ticket. Dollar and a dream, right?

Saturday I actually got a number too! Actually not one number, but three numbers! Seven bucks right there. That’s pretty much what I’ve spent on tickets so far. I split even. So what did I do? That’s right…I let it roll baby. I let it roll…….

Do you ever look in the rearview mirror while you are driving at night and think you see a man with a hook in the back seat? Yeah, I knew I wasn’t the only one.

Step one of Operation: Exploit the New Guy has gone into effect today. Essentially I’m trying to use the new guy to get to his wife who is now going to Bennington College to find me single women. Desperate and a little pathetic, I know, but if I get a date out of it it will all be worth it. And I know that he tells her EVERYTHING (I’m serious. I think she knows me better now than most of my friends do, and I’ve only met her twice) so there is a very high probability that something may come out of this. We’ll see…

Last night I actually got to finally talk to Jamie on the phone, thus ending the longest game of phone tag either of us has ever participated in. I think I first called her the day after I got my phone. After numerous voice mails on both ends, the game finally came to completion.

OK, here is one of my biggest pet peeves:

A customer walks into the store and gravitates (usually) towards the Wave Music System. I tell them a little bit about it, play a little music. They seemed a little confused as to whether it is actually something they want or need. In an effort to help them out and do a proper needs assessment for them I ask, “So where were you planning on putting the system?”

They answer, “IN MY HOUSE,” as if I actually thought out on the lawn next to the garden knome was one of the options.

At that point in the conversation, no matter how nice the person was before that, it takes all the energy I can muster not to smack them upside the head and shout, “NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!”

I had a dream last night that I was trying to find star talent for my high class burlesque (read: strip) club. Very business-like. Except, you know, for all the nudity.

My dreams have just been getting weirder and weirder lately.

This of course all ended in a highway chase in Megaopolis, the city in my dreams.

I’ve become a shut-in of a sort of late. I don’t like that sentence. I’m leaving it though. Must move on.

Anyway, gas is really expensive. I haven’t made bonus in a long time. Money seems to be hemorrhaging out in all sorts of directions. Still paying off the TV. Now the cell phone I don’t use. I have to get a tune up on my car and snow tires next week. I really don’t want to be spending money if I don’t have to.

Then there is the problem in that if I want to see anyone I have to drive really far. Again, gas is expensive. And no one really seems thrilled to be with me lately. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t one of my “nobody loves me” rants. I just don’t see the point in wasting their time and mine if we don’t really want to be hanging out together.

So I’ve been trying the at home thing lately. Seeing a lot of movies. Which is good in that I have a lot of movies to see. You do tend to get a little bored though. I think there was a reason I didn’t really mind working 6 day weeks. The only people I talk to are my coworkers. But can’t even go out with them, because let’s face it, after spending 8 hours together what else are you really going to say?

It’s been nice to have some me time though. I’ve been running around too much lately.

So that’s why there have been no exciting stories lately. Next weekend I have off. I’m still wondering if I’m actually going to do anything that weekend. No one has really gotten back to me. Which is OK. I can still find something to do. I would like to have something to look forward to though. We’ll see what happens. Things always happen.