Doctor Cox, after he is asked by his wife to give her harpy friends a tour of the hospital:
“This is where the patients come in. Upstairs is where they go to die. Downstairs is where we throw their dead bodies in a hole in the wall.
“Oh, and there is the gift shop.”
——-
Can you tell how I’ve been spending my free time lately?
Oh, dear Snow God in the sky, please let so much of your wonderful fluffy goodness fall upon this earth that I won’t have to go into work tomorrow. You know that no one in their right mind will show up to buy something if we do open. You know that I will kill myself trying to get there if we are open. And you know that I’m working six days this week and could really use that extra day off. So come on, buddy, throw a dawg a bone. I could use the extra day to sit on my ass, contemplate life and hopefully catch up on some of the stuff I’ve been putting off lately.
Things are starting to look brighter in my future. I think I’m actually going to apply for that job after all, and just see what happens.
If you took all of the porn off of the internet, there would only be one website left, called Bring Back the Porn.
Ah, so true.
I asked this question in the comment section of one of my posts, but I’ll open it up for everyone: How much, rough estimate, would you say that one should have saved up that they would need to move and start over in a city on the other side of the country?
Today, more than ever before, I’m seriously considering just jumping on that Seattle job offer.
I was losing faith. I was beginning to think for the first time in my life that I shouldn’t be making all of my major life decisions based upon a cheap Chinese novelty baked good. I mean, what the hell, cookie Buddha? “Luck is coming your way?” Seriously? No luck has come my way. One could in fact argue that my luck has gotten worse lately. The whole fortune cookie establishment was crumbling around me. I was seriously considering looking towards church or science or some other shit like that for guidance in my life.
And then I got Chinese food today. I shit you not, this is the fortune I got:
“Ignore previous cookie.”
Faith renewed! I knew you wouldn’t abandon me in my time of need, cookie Buddha!
Woke up this morning, walked by the mirror, did a double take. Yes, I was indeed sporting Vanilla Ice bedhead.
At about 4:30 this afternoon I wondered out loud if it was too late to make my almost daily pilgrimage to the bank. I wasn’t feeling all that confident at the moment and was actually feeling quite sick. Whether it be from my seemingly endless cold, stress or a combination of the two, I don’t know.
I forget what she said next, but essentially Rachel then mentioned that she knew someone who worked at the bank. And you are just telling me this now? Well, she didn’t talk to her too often. But still, you couldn’t have thought to mention that earlier? I asked her if she’d talk to her to at least find out the bank girl’s name and to see if she was with anyone.
It was not good news.
Bank girl is engaged. Worse, almost a cosmic stink bomb, her name is Sara. There is some bad juju there. To say I was disappointed is to be putting it mildly. I’ve been slinking around the house since I got home. I watched a movie about an alcoholic (Factotum) as an upper. I am a fun guy.
But it’s not the end of the world. I’m just disappointed that it took me this long to find a girl I really liked in Manchester and Fate deemed it that she not be available. Sometimes I think it mocks me. For instance, yesterday I got a fortune cookie whose message said: “Luck is coming your way.” Taking my dessert literally, I immediately checked my lotto numbers, only to find not a single one on the list. The next day, this. It seems like I have the same shitty luck I’ve always had. Too bad the cookie didn’t mention when the luck was coming my way.
(Note: I am a little scared by how much faith I put in cheap Chinese paper in baked goods.)
Of course, yesterday I could have actually asked the question I wanted to ask only to find out what I eventually found out anyway, only with much more embarrassment involved. Maybe luck is coming my way.
Not for Rachel though. She almost didn’t want to tell me what she found out, because she knew that my eagerness to pick up deposit slips in a timely manner would then evaporate to what it was before I noticed that a hot girl worked at the bank.
You’re all probably really sick of this song by now, but I just saw this video for the first time and thought it was really beautiful, so I thought I’d share it with you:
C'est Non Un Blog 