My new thing at work is to pretend that I’m stabbing my co-workers with my clicky pen. Not with the whole pen, mind you. Just the point. I just click it repeatedly and hum the theme from Psycho. The joke is that I have to click them like 5,000 times to kill them, and even after then it’s not the stab wounds that kill them. It’s the ink poisoning.

I am an odd duck.