I was losing faith. I was beginning to think for the first time in my life that I shouldn’t be making all of my major life decisions based upon a cheap Chinese novelty baked good. I mean, what the hell, cookie Buddha? “Luck is coming your way?” Seriously? No luck has come my way. One could in fact argue that my luck has gotten worse lately. The whole fortune cookie establishment was crumbling around me. I was seriously considering looking towards church or science or some other shit like that for guidance in my life.

And then I got Chinese food today. I shit you not, this is the fortune I got:

“Ignore previous cookie.”

Faith renewed! I knew you wouldn’t abandon me in my time of need, cookie Buddha!