So I had a plan. I was thinking that this summer I would make my big move to Seattle. I would do so by the miraculous opening of the Assistant Manager position in downtown Seattle. It would open, I would apply, they would instantly love me, I’d pack my stuff and “Hello, Seattle!”

Life likes to mess with you.

The position opened up TODAY. Dammit! Too soon! I had things I wanted to get done first.

[Side note: What is with banner ads that flash fifty times a second like a strobe light, sending me into a seizure? Seriously, who would click on that? Maybe they think I’ll try to beat the ad to death with my mouse, and in doing so accidentally click on it? That is, if the convulsions haven’t killed me yet.]

Anyway, back to my story.

For a while today I went back and forth in my mind as to whether or not I should apply. Could I really just pick up and leave everything right now with no preparations, whatsoever. Turns out the answer is no. In my current state of mind I would be living in a cardboard box, fighting over scraps of garbage with the other homeless crazies…that is if I ever actually MADE it to Seattle in one piece.

I can basically do anything. That’s no mild boast. Anything I’ve ever wanted to accomplish, I’ve done. The key to that statement is the “want” part. I’m also the world’s largest procrastinator. If I don’t want to do something, then forget about it.

I’ll get to Seattle. Don’t you cry for me, Argentina. Because I know that you Argentinean readers are very worried for me. Everything happens for a reason. I had a talk with my parents tonight about it (which is odd, because I tell my parents about my life just about as often as they tell me when they are planning to go somewhere on the weekend and leave the dogs with me, which is to say, never). We all agreed that the key to life is to just be happy. Life just happens. Something happens, you react and vola! Life! Planning for something is like trying to wrestle down an oiled pig, which is to say, very difficult. You mainly just go with the flow. The key is to be happy with the cards you are dealt. [I’ve sure used a lot of metaphors in this paragraph, now haven’t I?]

So I’m sure, randomly, I’ll just get up and leave one day. Just you wait.

[Side note: Speaking of oiled pigs, tonight I also mentioned to my parents that I was considering giving up pork. A while back I read an article in Rolling Stone about the hog industry that was truly one of the most disgusting things that I have ever read. Concurrently, the last couple times I’ve eaten pork I’ve gotten this really weird aftertaste in my mouth that won’t go away for days. It makes me feel ill. Today really sealed the deal. I had pork twice today and couldn’t finish it either time. I thought I was going to be sick. (Of course, I am sick, so that might have just a LITTLE to do with it.)

I’ve always been a really fussy eater, anyway. I was never a big fan of pig to begin with. I’ve always hated ham.

I’m not sure I could do without pepperoni for my pizza and an occasional slice of bacon, but pork? I’m going to try and say no to you from now on. Baby steps, you know. I guess that if you hang out with hippies and vegans as long as I have, it is sure to rub off on you sometime.]