I always seem to surprise myself with how paranoid I am. 99% of the time I’m an extremely well rounded, happy-go-lucky individual, pleased with my life and glad to be alive. It’s that one percent of the time that worries me. While I love other people and enjoy my job serving the general public, groups of them over three people tend to give me a paralyzing social anxiety disorder. I feel tense, like I want to just climb up the wall and get away. If I’m not the enthusiastic center of attention I might as well not be there at all. The idea that someone might not like me fills me with a bottomless despair. And if I think I friend doesn’t like me? Forget about it. I go batshit crazy. I get depressed, irrational, angry. Paranoia creeps in like a starving street mutt. I have a tendency to over-think things, overanalyze them. Everything around me has a tactile sensation. The walls pulsate. Loud sounds really bother me. It’s like an ice pick in my brain.

And then I move on. I laugh and I’m fine. 99% of the time is back. Watch out for one percent. Long live 99%.