I almost never turn on my old computer from college. Why bother? It’s super slow. Everything I need is on my laptop. But the one thing it does have that my laptop doesn’t is two CD drives. In college I installed a CD burner, which makes it super easy to make one CD into two in no time flat. So, every once and a while when there is a CD I want to copy for a friend or for myself I’ll fire up the ol’ computer so that I can get burnin’.

Problem is, it seems that my old CD-ROM drive has developed a crisis of conscience when it comes to copying CDs. I don’t know. Maybe a music industry lawyer got to it or something. It thinks that it never signed on for this new job and seems hell bent on keeping me from pirating music. Little bastard.

After turning on my computer it will take me forever to get the damn drawer open. I hit the eject button. It doesn’t open. I tap it again. Nothing. I start tapping it multiple times. Try again later! I hit the side of the PC. Nadda. I smack the top. Zippo. I pick the front of the PC up and drop it. The little yellow light blinks, but no one is home.

And I’ll keep doing this in several variations for between five and fifteen minutes. Every frakin’ time I turn on my computer. It, as you can imagine, is a major pain in the ass. And what’s weirder still is that I can open and close the drawer a billion times after I get it open that first time, whereas seconds before the endeavor was akin to breaking into Fort Knox. It’s the weirdest damn thing.