[Alright, so I forgot to write something for tonight. Here is a little nugget I wrote a while ago and saved for just such an occasion. Enjoy~]

OK, most embarrassing moment time…

I tend to avoid embarrassment as much as humanly possible. I know. That sounds stupid. We ALL want to avoid embarrassment as much as humanly possible. I have a tendency to go out of my way to avoid it, though. Because of that, most people don’t even know my secret shame when they are standing right there watching it. And most of the time, embarrassment for me involves being wrong about something. People close to me know I can sometime be an open door when it comes to things that embarrass most folks. For me, it’s being wrong. I hate it. I’ve got an obsessive-compulsive disorder to not be wrong. So sue me.

Anyway, to my story. Enjoy readers, because NO ONE knows this story.

Fifth grade. JD, AA and I are standing in line, waiting to go to lunch or recess or something like that. AA starts to laugh, nudges the two of us and points down at his crotch. There is something really funny down there that we have to look at. I look down, being the innocent soul I was at the time, and see that he has a belt buckle on that has something written on it. You know fashion of the early 90’s. Anyway, it’s small print and there is a lot on there. I think he’s pointing at the belt buckle and so I start reading.

After JD looks down, he starts laughing. Am I a slow reader? Am I missing something? This isn’t exactly funny. I’m feeling really awkward staring at his crotch, so I start reading faster. I get to the end. It isn’t funny. Maybe I read it too fast. I’m sweating bullets now. Is there something else, other than the belt buckle? What else could there be? I read it again.

AA then, still laughing and pointing, says something like: “I got a fucking boner in class!”

Here I’ve been staring down with intellectual curiosity for what seems like eons at AA’s boner. Classy. Real classy.

I quickly straighten up and snort out a little laugh before acting like I’m too adult to actually think bragging about a boner in public is cool. I’m pretty sure they bought it too. But I know the truth of what happened that day. My secret shame.

Sigh.