There’s this driving game I came up with. Anyone can play it. You don’t have to be a speeder like myself to play, but it does help make the game a lot more fun if you do.

The rules are easy. When you first see a car way off in the distance (or a pair of headlights, if it happens to be nighttime) try to guess whether or not said car is a police cruiser. That’s it. If you think that car is free of the fuzz, yell out: “Not-a-Cop!” The challenge comes from deciding to yell “Not-a-Cop!” before you actually know for sure if it is or is not a cop. The further away the car, the higher the challenge, the greater the point value awarded for success. Failure comes from when one yells out “Not-a-Cop!” only to find out that it was, in fact, a cop. D’oh! Hours of entertainment can come from instantly deciding whether or no to yell out “Not-a-Cop!” at the slightest shimmering of something shiny off on the horizon.

The non-speeders in the crowd might not find the same excitement in “Not-a-Cop!” as us speeders do, though. Predict a cop is coming from a mile away when you are doing 10+ over the speed limit and you are a Hero. Think a cop is coming and slam on the breaks, only to find it is just a station wagon instead, and you are a major Putz. Of course the dreaded GAME OVER of “Not-a-Cop!” is getting pulled over after yelling out “Not-a-Cop!” only to realize that you have made a horrible, horrible mistake.