After eating at McDonalds today I wondered to myself, “What kind of fucktard salts this food?”  I mean, seriously, why would you salt anything that they make?  It’s like dragging your tongue across the beach at the Dead Sea.  Doing so is just like asking God to smite your kidneys.  “Hey, kidneys, screw you.  I don’t need you anymore.  SAAAAAAAAALLLLTTTTTT!!!!”