In my old age I find myself beginning to mellow out when it comes to babies. I’m not sure why, but at the same time most girls are discovering their mothering instinct men are undergoing the exact opposite transformation. You know what I’m talking about. You ever see a young man surrounded by women cooing over a new baby when suddenly the baby crawls near him and all the women get the brilliant idea that he should hold it? You all know that utter look of horror that flows all across his face. That, “oh shit, are they serious?” look. Unless he grew up with tons of younger siblings he is totally lost in that situation.

Which makes you wonder what Nature had in mind when it put this instinct into us men. Early man would jump on a tiger with a spear but heaven forbid he has to hold a baby; come near him with one and he goes running into the woods screaming like a little girl. Here is this little pile of pink flesh that he could break in half with one hand and he’s terrified of it. Maybe that’s because he knows that if he did break it in half that group of women that just had to see him holding the baby would pounce on him and tear him to pieces. And there is nothing more terrifying than that.

I find myself more amused by babies now than I ever did though. One smiles, I smile. They do something funny, I laugh. I no longer feel the urge to climb up the furniture when one comes in the room, like a cat with a dog. I must be maturing in my old age.

I still don’t want to hold your baby though, so don’t get any smart ideas.