Monthly Archives: August 2005

Did you ever stop and wonder if you are secretly watching robot porn when you watch someone insert a hard drive into a computer on television? If so, does that make a motherboard a MILF? Go to my favorite blog … Continue reading →

Even though it says right on my phone that it has a 4x digital zoom, I can only get it to go between 1x and 2x. Does anyone know why this is?

I haven’t actually heard my phone ring yet. I’ve gotten voice mail, but still haven’t actually heard it ring. I got a ringtone for it the other day of Bjork’s Big Time Sensuality, and I want to know if I … Continue reading →

Join the National Guard! -100% Tuition Assistance! -$20,000 Student Loan Repayment! -Up to $10,000 Enlistment Bonus! -AND GET A FREE T-SHIRT AND DVD!!!

The Dunkin’ Donuts across the street from the store has notoriously bad service. They are frequently understaffed, and those who do show up to work are either crazy or incompetent. Witness “Gacy”, who earned his nickname because the crazy driving-a-scooter-into-work … Continue reading →

When I was little people used to think I was retarded because I spoke slowly. Life not without its irony, it’s only when I speak quickly that I sound retarded. Do I look like a Kyle to you? Because I … Continue reading →

Now that was a birthday that was better than the last couple lonely, depressing ones I’ve had. It began with my acquiring of a brand new cell phone and ended with my being pulled over by a Vermont State Trooper. … Continue reading →

OK, here is my gift from me to you for today, my pretties. If you can get the chance, go and see this amazing movie out now called Me and You and Everyone We Know, directed by Miranda July. You’ll … Continue reading →

OK, yesterday I got three books: 1,001 Movies You Must See Before You Die, Roger Ebert’s The Great Movies and Once Upon a Time in Italy: The Westerns of Sergio Leone. That’s right folks, the madness is only beginning. 1,001 … Continue reading →

My mom asked me earlier tonight what I wanted for my birthday. I was seriously at a loss for words. “Money” was the answer I came up with. I mean, when you buy everything you want anyway, what’s the point … Continue reading →