Yesterday I went over to a friend from work’s house to see another friend from work that I haven’t seen since he quit there. We started out with a little strawberry margarita, but it was not long after those had been made that the reefer madness started.

I knew I was in trouble right from the start. I took a monster hit, but then as I began to exhale only a pathetic little white cloud came out of my mouth. “What the fuck,” I said to myself. “What the hell did I do wrong this time?”

As I was talking to myself my breathing normaled, only for me to see a giant cloud slowly emanate from my insides. Oh crap. Then the required coughing started. I was done at this smoking. I still took my turn in the circle though.

About maybe five, ten minutes later the weirdness started. To tell you the truth, I’ve never been more scared after taking any drug like I was then. A white light started to fill my eyes, like a kaleidoscope of a thousand exploding stars. The pressure of my sinus glands pushing against my eardrums got much worse and I started to freak out a little bit. It literally knocked me on my ass. I had to sit down and regain my balance or I was going to FALL down. That lasted a good half hour.

Then the most pleasant sensation befell me. At this point I fully knew why this is my drug of choice. It opens up parts of my brain that I forgot I had. Remember that feeling you had as a kid that everything was special, that everything held magic inside of it? That’s the state I return to. I get so much flashback now it’s ridiculous. I’ve recaptured entire segments of my childhood thought long lost to me. It’s the oddest feeling, being completely at peace.

My friend’s house is right in the middle of the forest. Having the trees rustling in the wind overhead just reminded me how much I love trees. They are, I think, God’s greatest invention. To see something so tall and so old and so amazingly intricate and unique…it just humbles you. Who the fuck am I? Why do I deserve shit? What’s this war thing all about?

I have this deep emotional bond to the mountains and the forests. I can’t escape it. When I’m away from it I’m not happy. It’s nice to feel this karmic connection to something.

Later I taught everyone how to play croquet on most possibly the most difficult course ever. I was the only one that knew how to play, I was the one that designed the course. I, of course, came in last. We ate pizza, made smoores over a fire. I loved that fire. I was practically in the fire. It was kind of funny. Here I am in shorts and a t-shirt, it’s getting cold and windy, and I’m sitting with my feet basically on the firepit.

Just amazing, that state of mind. The only way to get it back in a normal state is through trance music. Luckily I got Sasha’s new album today. One word: wow.

Haven’t posted much lately. Can’t promise much for the future. We’ll see.