This is a public service announcement for everyone who works in customer service, going out to all you potential customers out there:

I DO NOT give a shit about your personal life. Nor do I give a shit about all the cool stuff you have and all the cool stuff you do. I especially DO NOT want to hear about how the stuff I’m trying to passionately sell SUCKS.

I’m NOT your companion. I’m NOT paid to talk to you. I AM paid to answer your questions about the products I’m selling. This is of course with the unstated assumption between us that if I DO do a good job you might actually buy what we were talking about.

In other words, DO NOT FUCK WITH ME. I don’t give a shit. And even though I’m paid to be nice and polite, push me far enough and there is a good chance I might flip out and kill you. I don’t want to kill someone, but you never know what you’re capable of until you are stuck in a situation you can’t get out of.

Today, as you might have guessed, I had a customer described above. And I will tell you, if I was a dog and he was a bear trap, I WOULD have gnawed my foot off. Hell, I would have tried to hit a nail through my forehead with no hands. Have you ever been stuck in a hopeless situation you can’t get out of? I have. And never more in my life have I wanted to break into tears for something I could have just have easily solved by using the words: “Piss off.”