Could someone please see Open Water and tell me how the fuck the movie ends?

I saw the movie tonight, and the movie ended at a logical point. The film fades to black. Then suddenly the film just stops and the lights come up. No credits, no nothing. Everyone looks around, confused. A few of us go out to the main desk and ask if that’s how the movie really ends. A woman comes out and insists that that’s how it ends. I didn’t really believe her. Could someone please see the movie and tell me if I should ask for my money back?

Today has been such a bizarre day. All the crazies were out in force. Had this one guy who calls as soon as I get in. He wants to know if we have a Lifestyle and some speakers in stock. Fine. I check. We do. Do we have these speakers too? Yes. How much? What about these speakers? How much are those? It just kept going. I asked him, “Sir, do you have internet access?” Yes. I’m there right now.

…

Uh, all of our prices are right there. Really? Where? Uh…did you even click on anything? Dumbass.

Then we get our truck. For some reason people tend to have a hard time understanding that we are actually, you know, busy sometimes. One dumbass comes in demanding to know if we’ve fixed his 321 yet. (Little did we know that this guy’s wife hasn’t even brought the damn thing in yet, as she’s at a doctor’s appointment.) Jim tells the guy that we haven’t looked at it yet, since we’re “kind of in the middle of a truck right now.” The guy says, “Gee, I don’t see a truck in here.” Yeah, that’s right asshole, we normally just drive the truck through the wall to unload it. I mean that does mean you don’t have to walk as far, right?

I get a call while all of this is happening. I go through the same greeting we always do (“Good morning, thank you for calling the Bose Factory Store in Manchester. This is Ben.”) and admittedly I was doing it a little half hearted. We were busy. So I get this mumbly response. What? Again, I have no idea what he’s saying. A third time this asshole asks me if I’m new there. Uh no, why? It sounded like you were practicing answering the phone. Well, thanks. This dickhead then asks for Rachel (not in) or another MOD (manager on duty). Since we were the first store to get the new registers everyone now calls us (specifically Rachel) when they can’t figure something out. This is something I probably could have walked him through myself, if I cared to. Not after he insulted me though. No one else was free, so he got no help. “I kind of need to know now, as I have the customer right here.” Oh well. Tough luck for you. The other really annoying thing he did was never identify himself. When I say, “This is Ben,” you’re suppose to say, “Hey Ben, this is [blank] from the [blank] store.” I had to ask the guy what store he was from. This was at the end of the call. Jackass.

This old woman comes in with her brother and the first words out of her mouth are: “Do you have a chair?” Uh…no? “There’s nowhere to sit?” Well, there are seats in that back room, or in the theater, thinking she just wants to rest her feet. Nope. She wants to shop in style. No we don’t have a fucking chair. How many stores have chairs for you to just chill in while you shop? Anyway, this woman was CRAZY. I mean a real wackjob. To try to put this interaction in words would never actually give you an idea of what it was really like (maybe I could do it in person). To sum it up, this woman wanted a pedestal for her Wave Radio and had no idea what that actually was, even though they had both seen one in action. As I started to explain how it worked she through up her hands and said it was too complicated, and started to walk away. This whole thing was hilarious, and I had a smile on my face the whole time I called her back and calmly explained to her that a monkey could figure out how to set this thing up. For some reason the brother even decided to buy it for her for Christmas, which I think she thought was like, the greatest gift ever.

This one guy shuffles in, and I swear he’s retarded. Turns out he’s just from the City 😉 What a pain in my ass he was. He would ask about something and then ask about a completely different product. He would complain about our house station (the radio station we set up in the store because our reception sucks ass) and then when we listened to it on another product, complain that the same some wasn’t playing. Uh, it’s a radio station sir. Could I play something classical for you? “No, I like this song.”

For some reason, people are always arguing with you over the size of their system or more likely, their speakers. For some reason they always look different when you put them in your own home. You would be amazed at how many people ask if the Wave Radio used to be bigger (or smaller). Uh, it’s always been the same exact size. Always. Anyway, retarded guy’s wife tells me she has a 321. But she insists that it is a 321 GS, AND that she paid less for it than we are offering it. I tell her flat out that that is impossible, but she doesn’t believe me. Fuck her. Believe you have the better system if it helps you sleep at night. We both know you got the cheaper one. The worse part is that the two of them were probably doctors or something.

Did you know that diplomats get diplomatic immunity…from taxes? I did not know this. Anyway a diplomat came in from Columbia today, and insisted that we not charge him for taxes, even though it is our store policy to charge you if you have tax exempt status and then send you a refund check. “In the 7 years I’ve had exempt status I’ve never once paid taxes.” Well, maybe true, might be a lie, but hey, that’s how we do things here. Meanwhile, his 3-year-old daughter is practically ripping the place apart.

I’m suppose to get out at 5:30. At 5:10 I approach this guy whose first question is: “Do you guy’s have a catalogue?” Uh, no. (Dumbass, check out the website.) Is there anything I can help you with? “Well, I have a weird shaped room and I’m wondering where I should place my speakers.” I flat out tell the guy that there is no pamphlet or catalogue in the world that is going to tell you where to place your speakers. That’s MY job. Anyway, I tell him about the show and put him in. As I come out I tell Jeremy flat out that I’m not going home on time today.

Turns out I’m right. Despite the fact that I’m half-assing my presentation and trying to answer every question this guy has as quickly as possible, something clicks and the guy ends up buying. One of our most expensive systems. I was shocked. I don’t know what the fuck I did, but I have a knack for this sort of thing or something. People just buy from me. I have no idea why. It seems the less I care, the more likely they are to buy. So despite the fact that I left late, I did have a killer sale to show for it.

So that was my day. INSANE. Just insane.

Driving home from the theater I was reminded of a time in college when a casual friend from NYC wondered out loud what the high beams in a car were for. He thought they were just for flashing at other drivers. I found this extremely hilarious.