Tell me if this makes any sense: I was told that I can’t attend a reunion of my friends because a certain person I don’t want to see is also going to be there.

Well, let me clarify that statement, lest anyone misunderstand what I’m saying.

-A bunch of my college friends are meeting around Bard.
-I was told under no uncertain circumstances that my ex WILL also be at this meeting.
-Under no circumstances do I ever want to see that person again.
-Therefore the logical conclusion is that I’m going to make the choice not to go because I don’t want to see that person.

What the hell? Does that make any sense? I mean, these are my friends and I want to see them while they are all in one place. Am I really so petty that I’m not going to see them just because someone else that I don’t want to see is also going to be there? That doesn’t really make me sound so cool. At the same time though, why should I have to see that person if I don’t want to? I mean, I didn’t fuck up that relationship. They did. Why should I be punished? And yet, why should I punish myself?

As you see this is all pretty confusing. And I’m still not really sure what I’m ultimately going to end up doing. I know some of you are saying, “Grow up, Ben.” But really, would you choose to hang out with the last person in the world you ever wanted to see again? I mean, first of all, awkward. But then how do you expect to have any fun in that type of situation? Gah! It makes my head hurt.

I write this to vent, of course, but also to see what other people’s opinions on this type of situation might be. Feel free to comment away! I’m open to all sorts of ideas and suggestions.

Of course if this all takes place during a weekend there is no problem, since I can’t get out of work for that anyway. I’m sure fate will sort it all out.