Friday as I’m getting ready to make a left hand turn into the Bose parking lot the guy behind me passes me ON THE LEFT while another car is coming in the oncoming lane. Let me note a few things. A) If I don’t have to, I NEVER come to a stop before making a turn. If the guy waited a half a second longer I would have been out of the way. B) It’s not like the guy was tailgating me the whole way down either. I could understand the pass if he was riding my ass the whole way into Manchester, but he wasn’t. He was the standard two-second rule away from me the whole way down. That makes it doubly weird that he was pass me. I’m lucky he flew by fast too, because I was already starting to make my turn when I suddenly saw him fly by. I mean, who looks behind them to see if anyone is coming? If he was just a little bit slower I would have totally nailed him, the asshole.

Work was cool. When it was slow we pulled out some putters and made the store into a mini-golf course. This job rocks.

But then as I’m driving home I driving down 7A like 55/60 miles per hour and this older couple decides to cross the road at a leisurely pace as I’m barreling down the road at them. Finally as I hit the brakes and go down to 30 in a second the look up, go “OH!” and start to actually move. This isn’t an intersection dumbasses, it’s a HIGHWAY.

I cash my first paycheck Friday morning. Yea, right? Then when I get home and start backing into my parking place I misjudge what straight is because you can’t see the tiny stone wall lining my driveway and totally roll into some thick pointy vines growing around the wall, popping my back tire. Fuck. The thing deflates almost instantly.

The next morning my dad wakes me up early and makes me change the tire with him, without any breakfast or shower or anything because we have to change it right NOW. Needless to say I didn’t eat anything until noon, and lacked any willpower to shower until five. I’m out fifteen bucks now and 60+ come this summer when I need to replace a tire. Dammit!

I bought another ten kung fu DVD deal off the same guy I did before on eBay. I’ve bought a lot of great kung fu DVDs from this guy, and he’s always been great about sending things super fast. So I get the ten DVDs in the mail, but two of them are the wrong DVDs. They look cool though, so I send the seller an email saying I want the two DVDs I didn’t get, but that I also want to keep the ones that I got by mistake. I’ll send you another check, blah blah blah.

This guy is really great and everything, but his English is horrible. Badly misspelled words. Weird grammatical sentences. And if I ask multiple questions in an email he only answers one, and usually the answer either has nothing to do with what I wrote or just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. And just so you don’t think he’s some Chinese guy in Hong Kong, his name is Jack Chazanov and he’s from Brooklyn. Man o man. After several emails I think everything is figured out now. Let’s hope anyway.

Anyone watch the preshow on ABC for the Oscars last week? Anyone really want to hit that one super annoying guy? Do you know who that guy is? Billy Bush. And yes, he is related to the President, which explains SO MUCH.

SNL is awesome.