Ah, Entertainment Weekly has a cover story on Britney Spears. This, combined with the Rolling Stone interview of a few weeks back, confirms in my mind that Britney is one of the stupidest people on the planet.

Probably my favorite stupid moment of the article was where at one point in reference to the numerous magazine covers she’s done with increasingly little clothes she said, ‘“People make such a big deal out of it,” she says, sounding genuinely puzzled. “I honestly don’t get it. It’s weird. To me, the human body is beautiful.”’

A little later in the article she starts talking about the “retarded” wardrobe suggestions ABC made for her TV special promos. To that she said the following: ‘“It was really obnoxious,” she says with an exasperated snort. “They wanted me to take my clothes off. They wanted me to have this towel wrapped around me and then drop it. It was all about my body, you know?”’

Can she really be THAT dumb? Well yeah. Here is a woman (kind of) who will do anything to sell herself, being the whore that she is, and yet if someone suggests she does something they’re a horrible person. That makes about as much sense as this quote: ‘“These parents, they think I’m a role model for their kids, that their kids look at me as some sort of idol. It’s the parents who should be teaching their kids how to behave. That’s not my responsibility. I’m not responsible for YOUR kid.”’

Again, the idiocy is amazing. You don’t think you have even a LITTLE responsibility for the fact that every pre-teen girl in the US dresses like you? Her lack of any social consciousness shocks and horrifies me.

On the plus side it does sound like she’s really burning out and getting ready for a big celebrity breakdown. There is a picture in this issue where she looks pretty wasted, and the picture looks startlingly like those pictures of Drew Barrymore when she was in her teens getting fucked up on everything.

In all fairness to Britney though, it looks like stupidity runs in the family. Finally I have here a quote from her brother Bryan (who runs the financial end of her licensing empire of all things. It’s not like he’s at home and doesn’t know what his sister is doing.) ‘“She really doesn’t understand the power she has. But then none of us in the family really understands it. I mean, to me, she’s just my little sister–why would anyone put her on a magazine cover? It’s only when I step back and think about what’s she’s done over the last four years that I go ‘Oh, my God!’”’

So wait, he has to think about things before he realizes what’s going on? None of the family understands the power she has? Man, they are like a bunch of dumb-yet-pretty monkeys. That combined with the “the human body is a beautiful thing” quote makes me think that it’s a normal event in the Spears’ household to table dance with a python wrapped around your neck. And if so, I really want to get invited to a family gathering at their house.

(Oh, and quickly, my favorite quote from the Rolling Stone article has to be the part where she’s asked what her favorite song on the new album is and she can’t even remember the right title. Hardly even comes close.)