——Dead or Alive——

(C+)

Aside from some good direction and some weird-ass mind-blowing opening and beginnings there is really not much of a reason to watch this movie. The majority of the film is slow and kind of dull, and after about 45 minutes you’ll start to beg for the end, which by the way is the most fucked up ending ever. You might want to watch the film if just for that, but as it is only about 30 seconds long it is probably not worth it.

The plot is that of a basic cop trying bring down a new yakazu gang variety. Besides the opening where for three minutes various plots of sex and violence are cut together to crazy heavy metal music and a cool gun fight towards the end there is not really much else to interest you for the rest of the film. There is a side plot about the cop trying to find money for his daughter’s operation, and some fighting between the yakazu and a new Triad gang, but none of it is all that compelling and the camera is always at an obscure distance away from the objects it is shooting, creating some confusion half of the time as to who is doing what. The gunfight towards the end is a nice display of ultra-violence, but not really anything special that you have to check out.

Then there is the ending. I’m going to spoil it for you since you’ll probably never see the movie anyway. (If you for some reason do want to see the movie, skip to the next review.) The movie ends with the lead gangster and the cop facing off in a field. After some side violence with the minions the two face off and unload a clip each into each other. The end, right? Well, as they are slumping to the ground they suddenly stop and groan or something, and then the cop pulls a rocket launcher out of his back. The gangster, not one to be out done, pulls A BALL OF ENERGY out of his back. Thus far the entire movie has been a straight gangster movie. Now the weirdness starts. The gangster throws the ball of energy at the cop, and the cop shoots it out of the air with his rocket. Cut to a really crappy 3-D map of the world that you would expect to see during the weather report on the local news. Then watch as an even crappier looking supernova erupts from Japan and wipes out the whole earth. The end.

——Menace II Society——

(B+)

This was kind of an interesting movie. Not fantastic or anything but it did take the American gangster movie to a new level by setting it in LA with black characters. The writing wasn’t great, but I did like how every action the main character took (good and bad) during the course of the movie caught up with him at the very end, in a very sort of Greek tragedy kind of way. The point of the movie then becomes something of a lesson about how young black males in the hood don’t take accountability for their actions, which is something that very much will come to bite them on the ass one day. I could almost go into a discussion of causality much like in the Matrix Reloaded, but I think I’ll stop there and just say that it is a pretty decent flick.

——Yojimbo——

(A)

This just happens to be one of the most western Westerns ever made, which is saying a lot since it has to do with samurai in feudal Japan. Everything, from the setting of the abandoned town run by gangsters to the mood and tone to even the music have the feeling of a Western written all over it. No wonder Leone had such an easy time almost copying it shot for shot when he made A Fistful of Dollars.

I love the comic tone of the movie, with characters that although they are sort of two-dimensional they still jump right off the screen with personality. I also like the almost tragic ending where in a moment of finally doing something selfless for a woman and her family his act is figured out and he almost loses everything because of that at that point. A great, fun movie, with some great blink and you’ll miss him kill three people sword fights filled with classic Kurosawa imagery.

——Five Fingers of Death——

(B)

Finally, some kung fu movies. All right!

The plot of this film is that a kung fu student learns all that he can with his older master, so he travels to a bigger kung fu school where he quickly excels and is finally allowed to learn the secret of iron fist. Meanwhile, a tournament is coming up and a rival school wants to hedge their bets by taking out the other school. They bring in all sorts of notorious characters to take down the other school, including three Japanese men, but even after the main character has his hands broken he is still able to learn iron fist and win at the tournament.

The movie doesn’t end there though, as the main character goes to the other school to take down those that wronged him (talk about unlucky; not one but TWO of his masters died!). The final battle is the coolest, with all sorts of great fighting and some cool destruction of inanimate objects. The film as a whole tends to wander from time to time, and is some times confusing (I didn’t realize that their were two girls lusting for his affections, I thought they were both the one) but overall there is a lot of great action and surprises.

Also it should be noted that the soundtrack sounds very similar to a lot of the stuff in Kill Bill. For one, The Bride’s revenge theme where the colors go yellow and you zoom in on her eyes is taken directly from this movie. But also, a lot of the soundtrack actually sounds like that of a spaghetti western, which is pretty cool.

——The Kid with the Golden Arm——

(B+)

Although this film lacks in plot (a gang is trying to steal gold that is meant to help out a starving province and…well, that’s about it) it makes up for it with plenty of kick ass action. The guy who plays the drunken master is amazing, as every fight he has, but especially the ones with Iron Coat and Golden Arms, is mind-blowing. The fight between Short and Long Ax verses Silver Spear is also pretty spectacular. No wire-fu here, just lots of really impressive kung fu hand to hand, weapon to weapon or–in the case of Golden Arms, who can stop swords with his bare arms–hand to weapon combat. The movie is campy as hell, but in a good way as only a movie led by a drunken master can be. Besides, some of the fights left my jaw on the floor. Definitely worth seeing.

——Shaolin Master Killer——

(A-)

This is a good old training movie (think Karate Kid) in which Gordon Liu joins a Shaolin monastery in the hopes that they will teach him kung fu so that he can take down the evil Manchu’s who are killing innocent people and hanging the revolutionaries in public. This is a pretty long movie in kung fu terms (almost two hours long) but it is never dull. The training sequences are pretty cool and brutal (my favorite is the one where you have to increase your head strength by head butting bags of sand, which until you are good at it makes you look like a drunken sailor tumbling out of a bar) and once the fighting starts the duels are just amazing.

I can see why Gordon Liu is such a superstar since when he fights, instead of it looking staged like movie fights usually do his fights look like the real deal, and are cool as hell. In order to pass the final test of the temple he invents a chained three-piece staff that he does some really bitch-ass stuff with. Gordon Liu is just awesome in this movie. A Must See kung fu movie.

——Whale Rider——

(A)

It says a lot about any movie that even despite its slow nature you remain utterly enthralled throughout the film, and Whale Rider is no exception. I liked this movie a lot. I really enjoyed the fact that even though from the very moment that the movie starts you know what is going to happen in the end and yet the film keeps on surprising you all the way through. The acting is great and the project seems very personal to everyone involved with it. The cinematography is beautiful. A recommended movie.

——Better Luck Tomorrow——

(A-)

This movie feels a lot like what you would get if Fight Club was about overachieving Asian high schoolers instead of 30 year old white guys. There are a lot of the same themes going on here (as well as practically the exact same soundtrack), where a bunch of brainy Asian kids sick of doing everything they do to get into a good college decide to use their brains to commit crimes for themselves. Sometimes the direction is a little overdone and the film is a little heavy handed but I liked it a lot despite its few flaws.

——Kill Bill Volume 1——

(A)

Yeah, I saw it again. So sue me. As I finally got a chance to go to the movies with my dad, combined with the fact that Bennington has shit new movies (Scary Movie 3? No thank you. Good Boy? Please. Where is Mystic River?) and the fact that I love this movie made this a good opportunity to see it again. My dad actually quite enjoyed the film, and (unlike Mike, who could not see the spaghetti western references when I mentioned how cool they were, despite the fact that this was the second time he saw the film) the first thing my dad mentioned was how much it reminded him of a Clint Eastwood Western. I was so proud.

This time watching it I just kind of went along for the ride. This movie is so damn cool. The fight scenes are amazingly well shot and choreographed for someone who has never done this before, which is such a great testament to how well a job Tarantino did with this film. The anime sequence never ceases to shock either. God, that is violent. Also, Gordon Liu takes on new levels of cool after seeing Shaolin Master Killer. I suggest you check that movie out. Can’t wait for Volume 2. (At least now with Revolutions coming out I’ll have something new to check out in the theater.)

——Return of the Five Deadly Venoms——

(B+)

Despite the title this movie actually has nothing to do with the Five Deadly Venoms, other than the fact that the acting troupe that made Five Deadly Venoms also stars in this. The Chinese title is more something like the Cripple Avengers, the name change made solely to attract American audiences after the success of Five Deadly Venoms. (Note: The Five Deadly Venoms crew made a whole slew of movies, including The Kid with the Golden Arm, which I reviewed before.)

Anyway, the plot of this movie is a little silly and the majority of the film is kind of slow, but it is all worth it for the final 30-45 minutes of the film, which are just amazing. The plot: A master of Tiger style kung fu pisses some people off and to get revenge they cut off the legs of his wife and the arms of his son. His wife dies, but the son lives on, disfigured forever. The Father takes revenge by not only killing the people responsible, but then he also waits for their sons to grow up before maiming them. Not exactly the nicest guy, he then starts taking his anger out on random people. When one man stares too long at his son’s iron arms they blind him; another man bumps into them on the street so they cut off his legs; yet another man, a blacksmith, fires his mouth off so they make him deaf and dumb. The three cripples try to survive together on the mercy of the blacksmith, but the Father is such a bitch that he then says that no one can hire the blacksmith. A wandering knight sees their plight and goes to avenge them, only to be defeated and then made into a childlike idiot.

The three cripples discover where their would-be avenger came from, and go there to get help. There they learn not only how to get around their handicaps, but also learn kung fu (all in three years, and of course they become kung fu geniuses). The four of them then go back to take vengeance on their attackers (although really only the blind one and the deaf one do most of the fighting. The dumb one is there mostly for comic relief and the leg-less one only appears to kick any tough guys the other two can’t beat with his iron legs). That’s where all of the goodness comes in. The two of them take on thirty men at a time and kung fu masters, like the guy who uses short swords or the guy who uses the ball and chain (very much like Gogo in Kill Bill) which all leads up to the stunning finale against the father and son. These fights go on forever (in a good way) and are done in LONG takes, the whole things looking like beautifully choreographed Chinese Opera. It’s almost more dancing than it is fighting, the only difference being eventually someone dies. Although the first half of the movie is more in the C range, the ending definitely deserves an A.

——The New One-armed Swordsman——

(C)

This movie isn’t that great. It doesn’t help that my DVD is actually just a copy of the full screen video transfer, but the plot is pretty stiff too. A swordsman is tricked into fighting an evil kung fu master who uses a chained three-piece staff, and when he is defeated he has to cut off his own arm. He then lives the lowly life of a cripple servant in an inn until another swordsman helps him save a girl he secretly has a crush on. The two become brothers until the evil master tricks the other swordsman and has him killed when he won’t cut off his arm and go into retirement like the first swordsman did. The One-armed Swordsman then avenges his friend by taking on an army by himself.

The climax where he kills fifty men on a bridge and then the evil master is pretty decent, but I’ve seen better. Otherwise the movie is slow and not very compelling. I’d pass on this one.