——The Rundown——

(B)

The plot is paper-thin; the dialog is pretty stupid. And yet I really enjoyed myself watching this movie. Why? Because the action is just so damn bitchin’. At the very beginning of the film The Rock walks by Arnold in a nightclub, who says, “Have fun” as he passes by, thus passing his action hero crown down to The Rock while he pursues the glory of California governorship. In many ways I think this movie could foreshadow The Rock being a bigger action hero than even Arnold. For one thing The Rock can actually act. That helps. And although he is huge, he doesn’t look unrealistic like Arnold does.

The action sequences are what really make this movie. This is they way action is SUPPOSE to be directed. Are we seeing an action renaissance after the dismal uninspired action of the 80’s and 90’s? This film, with Once Upon a Time in Mexico, the Matrix films, Kill Bill coming up and the LotR series suggest that action might have grown up a little. Not to say that all of these films are of the same caliber, but that they all show some above and beyond flair in staging a cool action sequence. To be fair, we’ve probably seen just about everything you can do in an action sequence already, but it is how you do it now that really matters. This movie makes me believe that The Rock can take down three, eight, or a whole village worth of bad guys all by himself, and without a gun at that. The action just looks awesome. Slow motion is used to make shots more dynamic, not just to make everything look more cool. Each fight looks like a brilliantly choreographed stage show. Don’t believe me? Just look to the sequence where The Rock has to take on a village of Indian mercenaries, where they are flying from vines to knock The Rock around with all of the appearance of a brutal Circus act. And when the Rock actually does pick up a gun? Remember how cool it was when Arnold operated the shotgun while riding his motorcycle in T2? The Rock with two shotguns looks so much cooler. Have the time you are going to want to punch Sean William Scott in the face, but I totally recommend you see the Rundown.

——Mighty Aphrodite——

(A-)

I like that Woody Allen isn’t a complete asshole in this movie, and that when he meets a whore he doesn’t (immediately) sleep with her. I like the character development, with the more emotionally mature Woody more worried about his kid and other people than his libido. I like the use of the Greek chorus in telling the story. What could have easily become boring and tired cliche isn’t, and instead seems a little inspired. Not his greatest, but fun and funny enough to get my seal of approval.

——Hollywood Ending——

(B)

This feels a little tired and silly. The whole joke about him trying to direct a film while blind supplies few if any real good laughs. The relationship stuff feels uninspired. Everything just doesn’t work very well. On the plus side, the French probably love it.

——The Good Thief——

(A-)

Stylish, witty, not perfect, but an extremely enjoyable ride. For the most part it is pretty much like every other con/heist movie you’ve ever seen, except that with this one there is actually some character development going on with the lead. I’m not sure how much it owes to Bob le Flambour, since I’ve yet to watch my copy of it, but from what I can tell this movie does excellent work adapting its source material. How the heist plays out is pretty interesting, because it is quite difficult to tell if it was pulled off by a lot of luck or by rigging the game (I think perhaps a little of both). Very enjoyable viewing.

——Hard-Boiled——

(B+)

My problem with early Woo films is that although the plots for the most part are bare bones thin, you still have lots of trouble following what is going on until the final act when the shit hits the fan and everything becomes painfully obvious. I’m not sure why this is. Why we have to be introduced to so many characters without getting a firm grasp on how the interrelate is beyond me. But what I do know is that once you get to the action packed finale you usually don’t care.

This film has gone down in infamy as the movie with the highest onscreen body count of all time. According to IMDB 230 people die from explosions or bullet wounds in this film. While some might not think that number is so high at first glance, take a minute to imagine what it is like to see 230 different people get shot down in a two hour long movie. That means about two people die a minute, and there are big portions of the film where no one dies so just imagine how many people a minute that turns into. And no one is safe. Civilians get cut down in the crossfire. Nurses, invalids, and others get mowed down with machine guns. Cops shoot other cops just because there is so damn much to shoot at. The only humans who are safe are babies, all of which mercifully make it out of the hospital that makes up the final action sequence, which I swear accounts for at least 175 people from that body count. It’s like a fucking video game with bodies flying everywhere and shrapnel bouncing around every inch of the frame. Millions of rounds go off (while at the same I think I only saw someone reloading their gun like three times in the whole movie). The end of this movie is just insane. It’s like there are infinite bad guys in the hospital to shoot at. This sequence goes on for like a half-hour. Crazy, insane stuff. And totally worth watching. (And thank God for no crazy 80’s pop songs like in The Killer!)