MOST ANTICIPATED MOVIE:
Kill Bill: Volume One (Oct. 10) — From the first I heard about this movie, to the amazing trailer, to all I’ve read about it, I’ve wanted to see this movie. Finally it is coming out. Sure, it could suck. I’m not the biggest fan of Jackie Brown. But what’s not to love here? Tarantino + (Honk Kong action flick x buckets of blood) / 25 minute long House of Blue Leaves fight = pure awesomeness. Look at the cast: Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Lucy Lui, Daryl Hannah and Michael Madsen. All I want to know is when is Volume Two coming out?
MOST ANTICIPATED MOVIE THAT COULD BE COOL BUT WILL PROBABLY SUCK:
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Oct. 17) — I heard all sorts of cool things about the trailer. The buzz has been really positive for it. So I downloaded the trailer. And it is probably one of the creepiest trailers I’ve ever seen. However, I’m still quite suspicious of it. Why? All of the chills that come from the trailer come from allusions to the original film. The best example is the camera flashes that reference the very beginning of the first film. The sound of that sick camera’s mechanical movements brings chills down my spine just thinking about it. But is anything in the actual trailer that scary? The scariest parts involve shots stolen exactly from the first film. Everything else I could see, though, looked horrible. I have no idea what this new plot is about. It looks needlessly confusing. And tame. Everything looks like Hollywood’s idea of what is scary that’s been in every crappy horror movie of the last decade. I don’t know, maybe the movie is just as scary as the trailer, and if so that sounds awesome. But most probably the film is just going to bottom feed on the greatest horror movie ever made and add nothing to it.
MOST ANTICIPATED MOVIES THAT YOU KNEW I WAS GOING TO SEE BEFORE I TOLD YOU:
The Matrix: Revolutions (Nov. 5) — Duh.
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Dec. 17) — Double duh.
MOVIE I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR EVER SINCE I READ THE SUMMER MOVIE PREVIEW:
Matchstick Men (Sept. 12) — Have you seen the trailer for this? Nicolas Cage looks like he is coming gracefully off of his awesome performance in Adaptation, instead of falling back into his mid-nineties slump again. I love Sam Rockwell in everything he’s in. Alison Lohman looks like an extremely promising new actress. And Ridley Scott has been hot ever since Gladiator. This could be a really awesome movie.
MOVIES I DIDN’T THINK I’D BE INTO, BUT NOW I KIND OF AM:
Gothika (Oct. 24) — After reading EW’s side article on the director (the love interest in Amelie) this actually sounds like it might have some promise beyond the normal Hollywood psychological thriller junk. I’m excited.
Mystic River (Oct. 8) — I’m not usually first in line for the next Clint Eastwood picture, but the cast list for this sounds awesome, as well as the plot synopsis. Could be quite awesome.
Intolerable Cruelty (Oct. 10) — I always wait until I hear a little more about a Coen brothers’ movie before I jump on board, but this one sounds like it could be really funny.
Big Fish (Nov. 26) — I’m probably the only one who’s not a Tim Burton fan (I only go gaga for Edward Sissorhands, and maybe Ed Wood), and yet the picture in EW of Ewan MacGregor cleaning a fat man with a push broom sold me on this one. Don’t bother yourself trying to figure out why.
MOST LIKELY TO BE THE NEXT GLITTER:
Honey (Nov. 14) — This Jessica Alba story of an underdog dancer spends half its time in EW talking about how it’s NOT the next Glitter. How much you want to be that’s just what they WANT you to think since they are sitting on a From Justin to Kelly size stinker?
BEST USE OF SAMURAI SINCE KUROSAWA:
The Last Samurai (Dec. 5) — The trailer is the coolest of the year. Everything I’ve read about this sounds like some awesome Samurai action is going to go down. I might even be able to forget Tom Cruise is in this.
WORST FACIAL HAIR:
The Alamo (Dec. 25) — Check out the sideburns/soul patch combo on Dennis Quaid. This is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. The movie might be good though.
BEST SIGN THAT RON HOWARD MIGHT BE A DIRECTOR TO KEEP YOUR EYE ON:
The Missing (Dec. 10) — This Western probably has the best premise of all the new Western projects coming out in the next year. Plus the beautiful Cate Blanchett stars. I’m definitely going to check this one out.
BEST REASON WHY JACK NICHOLSON REMAINS THE GREATEST:
Something’s Gotta Give (Dec. 12) — Have you seen the trailer for this yet? It’s actually pretty damn amusing.
MORE LIKELY TO BE THE NEXT COUNTRY BEARS THAN THE NEXT PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN:
The Haunted Mansion (Nov. 26) — I don’t think I’m very far off here. Watch the trailer and see for yourself.
WORST LOOKING MOVIE:
The Cat in the Hat (Nov. 21) — Just watch the trailer and you’ll know what I’m talking about here.
REASON ONE WHY I’VE LOST ALL RESPECT FOR CUBA GOODING JR.:
The Fighting Temptations (Sept. 19) — A step above Boat Trip, but not by much.
REASON TWO:
Radio (Nov. 21) — He plays a mentally challenged African-American (whose name is RADIO) who befriends a white football coach in the racially charged 1960’s South? Kill me now.
WEIRDEST PLOT SYNOPSIS:
The Human Stain (Sept. 26) — Anthony Hopkins plays a black man? Sign me up.
THE ONE MOVIE THAT MIGHT HAVE A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SAVING BEN AFFLECK’S CAREER:
Paycheck (Dec. 25) — John Woo directs this film based on a cool Philip K. Dick short story. Will this be a Face/Off or a Windtalkers? Will it be a Minority Report or a blip on the radar like Imposter? Will it be, well I can’t think of a good Ben Affleck film, or a Pearl Harbor? John Woo’s and Ben Affleck’s careers hang in the balance, while Philip K. Dick remains as cool as he’s ever been.
C'est Non Un Blog 
Re Texas Chainsaw Massacre: I don’t know why Hollywood feels the need to remake good horror movies (haven’t seen the old one yet, but everyone freaks out about it when I ask), and sometimes I wish they would just stop making them at all, considering they’re mostly just rip-offs of older (and sometimes better) horror flicks. I would rather leave the making of horror movies to the circa-1982-Sam-Raimis of the world, with a $5 budget and no heaters on the set in the dead of winter.
In an almost unrelated note, I have something to say about Thirteen Ghosts (which I really shouldn’t waste my time on, but whatever): I saw the recent remake. Boy was it bad. One thing I didn’t quite understand: they still used the gimmick from the old 60s version that the characters see the ghosts when they put the funky glasses on. HOWEVER, do you realize that the original Thirteen Ghosts was a 3-D affair? And that every time someone put on the glasses in the film, that was a cue to the audience to put on their 3-D glasses? And that the ghosts apparently didn’t show up on screen (it was in black & white… I really don’t know how this works) unless the 3-D glasses were on? The makers of the new Thirteen Ghosts missed a major trick. I mean, they missed many, but… whatever. They missed a trick.
Although I generally don’t approve of remakes, they can sometimes be good. Like the Thing and Invasion of the Body Snatchers for instance. Although more often than not they are more like Psycho. Texas Chainsaw could add to the myth, but so far I’ve seen nothing new worth talking about, so I’ll wait until I see a little bit more.
tim burton
what the hell is wrong with batman?
Re: tim burton
I hate that movie. There are a few good ideas in an otherwise bland movie. And I refuse to believe that Batman would just let himself get shot in the chest like that. He isn’t Superman dammit!
Re: tim burton
I like to think of movie Batman as a kind of “Elseworlds” Batman, along with 30’s noir Batman and that Batman who lives in a Gotham city overrun by undead. This batman is a showman, and gets shot in the chest for effect.
MOST INFLUENCED BY AN RPG:
Underworld. Seriously, folks, it’s White Wolf. I’m wary about this one if only for the scene the studios seem to love so much – whatserface shooting the floor around her in a circle and falling through. That’s not a stunt, that’s a cartoon gag! Another reason I’m not excited about it, is that the werewolves are basically the villains and vampires are the heroes. I’m biased on this issue, of course.