Ah, no post yesterday. First time that happened since the old live journal got started up. That’s because my aunt and cousin were up and I was otherwise occupied eating and playing video games with Matthew this weekend. But now that they are gone, on to what you really want, a crappy movie review!

——Bad Boys II——

Wow. Fuck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that much action in one movie before. Although a lot isn’t done right in this film, because there is SO much going on in this movie it is worth seeing. This is probably the most fun action movie of the summer. It is also one of the worst written, but we’ll let that slide for the meantime.

Do you like car chases? Good, because there is no less than 3 of them in this movie. God, I think the main characters spend more time in their cars in this movie than all of the characters in the Italian Job do.

Do you like gun fights? Good, because there are a shit load of those too. Not to mention countless shots of bullets hitting people in the forehead. There are enough firearms in this movie to take over a small country.

Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are great, if only for their uncanny ability to make you forget how lame everything they are saying is. The movie works because you can really feel that these two characters have had it up to here with each other’s antics. They are also quite amusing from time to time.

Micheal Bay’s direction (surprise, surprise) is shoddy at best. Would it hurt you really to pull out on a shot or stop moving the camera for once Micheal? God, I felt like I was on a boat, the camera swung around so much. Still, the sheer mass of this movie helps move things along to Bay’s occasional good idea (case in point: the amazing shot of the bomb falling from the Zero in the otherwise crap Pearl Harbor). I think Bay’s camera work does help in a way though, in that it keeps us uneasy enough to not notice that the screenwriters are morons.

Witness the lame way that the drug lord gets away at the end of the movie just so Micheal Bay can blow up a mansion. Witness the way that while we know that the bodies of fat men are being used to ship drugs, in the morgue there is a single attractive, large breasted naked woman so that they can have a bunch of lame breast jokes. Notice the homophobia and racism of the writers (and white writers at that, as each joke can be seen as obviously crafted from a out of touch with minorities rich white guy). Witness the stereotypical drug lords, and the odd way that Martin Lawrence’s sister is not only going out with Will Smith, but also happens to belong with the DEA in New York, who are doing undercover work in Miami. The writers should be ashamed of the drivel that they came up with.

And yet the action is so over the top, and there is so much of it, that you can’t help but love this as a perfect mindless summer action movie. I mean, no one is going to walk out of the theater and go: “You know, I really wish there would have been some more action in that movie to make it better.” If someone did say that, I think they need their head examined. If anything the movie is just a wet dream for all of those guys who want MORE action in their action movies, who love to watch shit blow up. I’m one of those guys, and so despite the fact that at the basic level it is a horrible movie, I’m still going to give it a B for fun.

——My Cousin, and Bad Boys II——

As I noted two posts ago, we took my cousin with us. And there was no problem whatsoever with him seeing an R rated movie. He really liked it. And I think in a way that is because the whole should little kids see R rated movies question has a lot to do with what IS actually in the movie. Bad Boys II was just a regular action movie (which my cousin has seen before) with more action, and more swearing (which he has also heard before [mostly from my father]). There was no sex, and no nudity other than the titties of the dead girl. There was nothing particularlly scary about the movie either, so it was perfectly fine with him. I don’t think I would take him to see, say Silence of the Lambs, just yet, but R-rated action movies are fine.