Here’s another quote for all you lovers of…oh fuck, just give ’em the quote:

“What did the aliens look like?”

“Well, I only saw the from the back because they were too busy gang-probing you.”

NAME THAT QUOTE!

——Terminator Madness——

Sparked by the new EW that came in the mail today, which had an article on the timelines of the Terminator movies, I suddenly began to question the basic timeline paradox of the original Terminator. Here is the problem: In a Killer Robot Future, John Conner, savior of the human race, sends back Reese to save his mom from the Terminator sent back to kill her so that John can’t save the human race. So far, so good. There would be no problem, except that John is sending back HIS DAD to IMPREGNATE HIS MOM. This immediately begs the question, Well how the fuck did John exist in the first place, to be able to send back his dad to impregnate his mom, if he can’t be born until he sends back his dad to do the job?

Here is one possiblity: Some other inferior “John Conner” was born normally as savior of the world, but he couldn’t cut the mustard so he sent Reese back to create a superior John Conner who could destroy the machines.

PROBLEM: The Killer Robots are the ones who create the time machine. Apparently, once the War Against the Machines was going badly, the robots started a program to develop a Time Machine to go back and kill Sarah Conner so that they wouldn’t have to worry about losing the war. Just as Skynet is about to go down, the machines send an Austrian Killer Robot back in time, prompting John to send Reese back in time. The humans could not create a time machine on their own (because of the lack of a proper civilization needed to construct such a device) and the Killer Robots would not have developed a time machine if they did not need it, they with their superior robot logic. So the question is, why would there be a time machine if there was no John Conner? If there is no Time Machine, where does John come from?

You can argue that the timeline of the Terminator movies is a closed loop, but how does the loop start? If James Cameron could make a movie that could explain how all this works, and make me buy that it does in fact work, I would see that movie a million times just to thank him.

Another Question: In the first Terminator movie, they say that only human flesh can survive the time jump back in time. That’s why they come naked and can’t take laser guns with them. The Arnold Terminator can go back because he is human flesh covering metal endoskeleton. But how the hell do the T-1000 and the T-X go back in time? They are all metal. Is it because they are covered by “living” metal, if there is such a thing? Who knows.

Wacky time paradoxes.

——New CD Day, Part Two——

I got some new CDs today in the mail. Miss Kittin – Radio Caroline Volume One, FC Kahuna – Another Fine Mess, and Darren Emerson & Mutiny – Underwater Episode 2. Thanks for winning big in Vegas dad! Anyway, from what I’ve heard so far, they are all pretty awesome. I got the limited edition of the Underwater CD, which means that it comes in this soft plastic slip case that’s got colored water between the sleaves. Pretty cool.

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For those who are wondering, my current mood is predatory only because I wanted to see what I predatory smily face looked like. Have fun!